Karen Wilson, who lives in Toronto, is the fourth incredibly inspiring interview in our Rebirth series. Her grief journey began when she lost her only child Nick in March of 2017. Nick was 22 years old and died in a car accident. Karen did not know how to survive and did not know if she wanted to. But from the very beginning of her grief journey, Karen was compelled to find Nick again. That journey led Karen to a wonderful new connection with Nick that later propelled her to rebirth and enabled her to live her soul purpose.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE:
- Karen’s quest to find Nick.
- How Karen communicates with Nick via a pendulum and automatic writing.
- Signs Karen has received from Nick that validate that Nick is still with her.
- How the organization Helping Parents Heal has helped Karen to rebirth herself.
SOME QUESTIONS IRENE ASKS KAREN:
- Are you still afraid of death?
- You have learned about some of your past lives with Nick. Why did this tragedy happen in this lifetime?
- What exactly is your soul purpose?
Listen to the podcast here
Rebirth Series – Karen Wilson On How Her Son’s Death Propelled Her To Rebirth And Live Her Soul Purpose
Welcome to the new Rebirth Series, where I will be chatting with special inspiring people who have grieved, met their challenges, chosen to heal, and have experienced the blessing of rebirth. This new Rebirth Series is inspired by a comment from my son made while I was on my healing journey after my precious husband died next to me in a tragic car accident. He said, “Mom, there has been nothing worse than seeing you in total despair and nothing better than seeing you able to have joy again.” From my heart, I wish this for each of you. Be sure to give it a read.
I am so honored to be talking to Karen Wilson, who is a lovely woman from Toronto, Canada. I’m in New Jersey and we’re talking to Toronto, Canada. Karen is part of our new Rebirth Series, talking about things that have happened to her in her life and how she turned her life around. Even when the worst thing in the world happens to you, you can heal and turn this around and help others from what has happened to you. Let me start by welcoming Karen. Karen, from my heart, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for having me, Irene. I really appreciate it.
I appreciate you for volunteering. I’m going to say to anyone who also has an amazing story like Karen does and would like to share to help people, by all means, get in touch with us and let us know. You’re doing a very good deed. Karen, fill everybody in. Who were you before your tragedy? What did you do? What was your life like?
Before my son’s passing, I was your average mom. I worked full-time.
What do you do?
I work in the dental industry. I’m a normal person going to work every day and never thinking about the afterlife. Once in a while, it would come up, but it was very fleeting. Nothing that I thought a lot about. My son, at the time of his passing, had moved out and was living with a couple of buddies. He was becoming a millwright, which is somebody that repairs machinery in factories that make cars, steel, and stuff like that. He was well on his way.
How old was he?
He was 22 when he passed. Two months shy of his 23rd birthday. Nick was my only child. I couldn’t have children of my own. I adopted him from the hospital at four days old, so I was very lucky. Him and I were extremely close. We still are close. In fact, we talk more now than we did before. He was well on his way. He wasn’t perfect by any means. He was your regular 22-year-old that was late for everything, forgot everything, and all that. He was extremely respectful. To me, he was an awesome child. He never let me down and was always there for me at a moment’s notice. The tragedy then happened.
Can I ask you what happened?
Yes, of course. It was a single-vehicle car accident. I wasn’t there, but from all the investigation, he lost control of the car. It was starting to rain. The tire slipped, went over an embankment, and the car rolled. He was thrown from the car and died instantly. As I said, he didn’t live at home, so I wasn’t expecting him home. We got the awful knock on the door early the next morning because it happened in the middle of the night. Nobody saw it until the sun started coming up. The police were at the door. I don’t know what it was, but I knew. My husband answered the door. My husband isn’t Nick’s adoptive father. His adoptive father and I divorced years ago. My husband answered the door and they wouldn’t talk to him because I was the mother.
The police came up the stairs. I looked at the police and I said, “Is he dead?” I didn’t even know that they were there for Nick. I had no idea. The police said he was pronounced dead at the scene. They explained where his body was taken to. I completely passed out and came to. When I came to, I remember thinking, “It’s a dream. It’s not real,” then it was real and I passed out again. They called an ambulance for me, but by the time the ambulance got there, I was lucid and everything. They took my vitals and I said, “I’m not going to the hospital.”
I had to make all those lovely phone calls to the family. I had to call his dad, who lived about half an hour away. Everybody came and we had him cremated. I started my journey. I don’t even know how or why. It was just this tremendous pull for me to find him again. I know that might sound crazy because we’re traditionally supposed to think that when somebody dies, that’s it. We bury them, grieve, move on, and get on with our life. The strong pull was nothing I’d ever felt before. I don’t know how and where, but I have to find him.
I know that he’s still around. I have a feeling that he’s not completely disappeared.
He has not disappeared at all. As I said, I talked to him more now than when he was here in a physical form. I always say physical form because he’s still here. It’s just not physical anymore. We had the funeral and the pull was immediate. I had to find him, so I started reading books. I went to some mediums. Some are really good. Some were charlatans as there are charlatans out there. I figured out who they were quite quickly.
How did you find them? Were you googling mediums? What were you doing?
I was googling mediums, books, life after death, and that sort of stuff. I found a really good medium who also did spiritual workshops, and I took her six-week spiritual workshop.
Do you remember her name?
Her name is Sally Ryan. She’s in Ontario. She did an excellent reading for me and how the accident was. She introduced me to pendulums. Let me say that every new thing that was introduced to me, I was like, “Really?” She said, “You’re going to start finding dimes.” I’m like, “This woman is off her rocker. Why am I going to find dimes?” Let me tell you, my son has been on the other side for years and I have 73 dimes, feathers, and all kinds of things. She introduced me to the pendulum and started to show me how it worked. The first thing I did was go home and buy one. It took a while. It wasn’t immediate for the pendulum to start working for me.
I communicate with my husband through a pendulum too. It does take a little while until you’re open enough for it to do its thing. You have to learn from each other.
My spirit guides came through first before my son Nick. They were saying to me, “Death is not the end.” I’m like, “What is this?” Finally, my son Nick came through. Also, Sally Ryan taught me automatic writing. We communicate through that.
Tell the people, Karen, about automatic writing. I’ll say in the pendulum, you can get yes, no, or maybe answers, right?
Yes. The automatic writing didn’t take off right away. I would pick up a pen, meditate, and get one word here and there, so I practiced. Now, all I have to do is pick up a pen, put it on the paper, and Nick takes over my hand and starts writing. It’s funny, they don’t stop. If you’re writing, “See me go,” it all looped together. There are no spaces.
Honest to God, he can go on and on for pages and pages. Some of it I don’t understand because I’m not on the other side. They have their own language a bit, but it is quite amazing to be able to do that. It’s extremely healing for me. Having said that, I’m not saying that, “You lose your child, husband, or whoever is that important person in your life. All you got to do is this and this, and you’re okay.” No, that’s not it at all.
It’s extremely painful. You’re still going to grieve and miss that physical presence, smile, voice, those hugs, those times when you sat across from them at dinner and talked, the birthday presents, the Christmas presents, and all of that stuff. You’re still going to feel sad, be angry sometimes, too, and resentful, but you can heal. There is healing out there. I’ve talked to a lot of moms who say they won’t get out of bed in the morning or they won’t go back to work.
I get that for the first while, but I’ve talked to moms after 2 or 3 years. They are like, “I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to go back to work.” I’m not putting them down at all but, at the end of the day, it is a choice to either say, “I’m going to get out of bed. I’m going to forge through, feel this pain, and then keep going.” I say and I told you before this, you have to feel to heal. There is no way around the corner. There is no way over it. It’s through. You have to feel the pain and loss because there is no other way.
You found your way to this author, Dr. Mark Pitstick, and he opened you up to a new way of healing. How did you find him?
I found him through a book that I read called, Still Right Here by Suzanne Geisemann. At the back of her book, she had a reference to Mark Pitstick. I was an absolute crazy woman then. I was googling everything and I found Mark Pitstick. I bought his book Soul Proof, which talks about soul contracts and that you plan your life before you come here. That’s a whole other discussion, but if you ever do delve into that, it is something that I 100% believe and know. There’s nobody that can say that’s not true for me. I’m not saying for everybody. Mark Pitstick, at the back of his book, he had a reference to Helping Parents Heal.
Of course, me googling, the Google Queen, I googled that and I found this huge group of wonderful parents who are working so hard to heal and are connecting with other parents, resources, books, and listening. They’ve all lost children, some multiple. Some of those stories will take your whole breath away. You can’t imagine the pain that these people would have felt, but they’re there. They’re thriving, trying, connecting, and healing. It was like, “This is awesome. I got to join this group.” I did join the group and I was hoping that there was a group in my area that I could go to, but the closest one was about a six-hour drive from me. I found the leader’s email for this group six hours away. I emailed her and we got into huge talks about her son passing away.
Was it Irene or Elizabeth?
No. It was somebody here in Canada. Her name was Patty and her son passed in a car accident too. Knowing that I’m from the Toronto area, she said, “They’re trying to get people to start a group in Toronto. Are you interested?” I was interested, but I thought, “I can’t do this by myself. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never done anything like this.” She put me in touch with another lady in the Toronto area. It’s the same thing.
Her son passed away and was a crazy woman like me trying to find ways to heal. I contacted her, we met for lunch, we hit it off, and we started our own group a few years ago. We used to meet in person before COVID. Now we have Zoom meetings. It’s been absolutely healing for me helping other people. I don’t help them at the meeting. I have them contact me if they’re having a bad day or have any questions. It’s an absolute godsend for me. The whole organization has over 17,000 members. It’s international.
I want to add also that many people from Helping Parents Heal are interviewed on this show. I interviewed Mark Pitstick too. Soul Proof is absolutely wonderful. I’ve interviewed Suzanne Geismann and all of that. How many members do you have in your group in Toronto now?
We have 60 members. Some of them are far away from Toronto but they don’t have a group close to them, so they only come online. We’re still not meeting in person because we’re not allowed to. I don’t know if, moving forward, we’ll keep doing the online thing. The others, they have groups in the UK and India. The United States is the biggest affiliate. Canada is growing. If there’s anybody out there who has lost a child and don’t know what to do, I was telling you, I was terrified. I was like, “How am I going to go on without my son? How am I going to live? How do I do this? I don’t know how to do this.”
I lost both my parents when I was very young as well, but there’s no comparison to losing a child in my mind. I was terrified and I had to do something because I didn’t think I could go on. I didn’t have suicidal thoughts or anything, but I don’t know how to do this. Somebody needs to help me. I also got a therapist. She’s very spiritual. I don’t believe in coincidences because there are so many therapists out there, but I managed to hook up with one who has a spiritual side to her.
How did you find her?
I went on my computer and googled grief therapists in my area. There were three that came up. I talked to each and every one of them and I picked her, but I didn’t know she had a spiritual side to her when I picked her. It was interesting. We talk about both because she believes in the spiritual side as well as the clinical side. I have all kinds of tools at my fingertips to help me. I hope that anybody out there who is struggling, you don’t have to feel so horrible all the time. You are going to miss your child, absolutely, but there are tools, people, and resources out there that can help you. I can’t state it anymore.
I’m curious because you mentioned that you and your son made an agreement before incarnating that he brings you back to your soul purpose. Could you tell us about how you know that you had an agreement before he incarnated? Was it a plan? What you’re doing as your soul purpose? How did you find that piece of your journey?
I had a past life regression. I did everything. I went crazy. The regression showed me that I took my own life in a past life. I didn’t know if I believed it or not. It was like, “That’s what the regression told me. Why did I take my own life?” There were a lot of questions. In my communication with my son through automatic writing and answering yes, no, and whatnot, I learned that I have been in many incarnations with my son. The last incarnation being he told me that I was the man. He was the wife and I was the husband. We lost two children in a car accident and I took my own life. Isn’t that interesting?
Apparently, I’ve done this in many past lifetimes. I believe this. My son Nick and I decided to come here to play these roles, mother and son. I have him cross over and have me stay here, surrender to that loss, not take my own life again, to heal, help people, and heal my past lives. When it’s time, that’s when I will see him and cross over again, and not before for me to take my own life. I truly believe that we set up our communication after his passing because neither of us was sure that I would be able to do this without him guiding me.
I truly believe that is my purpose. It’s to be here and surrender to loss because I’ve lost a lot in my life. I had two failed adoptions. I had to give a baby back. I’ve lost my parents. I lost my only child. Through my son’s passing, I’ve lost some family members, not through death but in terms of they couldn’t handle the way I was grieving. It fluttered away into the woodwork. I lost a lot of family members in that way. I know I’m here to surrender to loss and deal with it. That’s what I’m going to do. That’s what brings me back to my purpose. Honestly, I don’t want to do this again.
Every time I get to that point where I’m tired, especially with the COVID, the restrictions, and everything, I’m like, “Nick, I’m so tired of this. How much more do I have to go through it?” He’ll communicate to me, “Mom, be patient. If you do this again, I have to come back too.” This is the deal that we made, so I keep pulling myself back to my purpose. My purpose is to keep going and surrendering to what I’ve agreed to in this incarnation in my lifetime or whatever you want to call it.
You have such a loving persona. I would imagine that people who connect with you through Helping Parents Heal feel warmed by your personality and comforted by what you do. You can feel it.
I do believe that they do because a lot of them contact me outside of the group meetings and whatnot. It’s interesting. I get a message from somebody saying, “How are you? It’s Mother’s Day. I don’t know how to get through this.” It’s not that I’m special, but I want to help her. I want to make her feel better. I want to tell you about a synchronicity or a sign I had on Mother’s Day.
We love to hear that.
I have three stepchildren. We’re not close, but we have a decent relationship. Nick said to me, “I’ll send you a sign on Mother’s Day. I promise.” I said, “Okay.” I’m looking for dimes or anything I can find. I got a text from one of my stepsons. As I said, we’re not lovey-dovey and hug all that, but we get along well. We’re cool. He sent me a text, “Karen, I know it’s a hard day for you. I want you to know I’m thinking of you and Nick. I hope you do something special today. Love you lots.”
That is not anything he would ever have said. That is what my son signed all his cards to me, love you lots. I knew right away that that was it. That’s the sign of him telling me he’s here because that is not anything my stepson Greg would’ve said. He might say I love you or something, but love you lots, not at all. That was totally from my son. I know that.
It’s so cool. When we were talking, you mentioned that you’re no longer afraid of death from all of this.
Interestingly enough, before my son’s passing, I was terrified of death. I was terrified of dying. I was terrified of dying before my son. I was terrified of him dying. It was the number one fear in my life, death. Now I know why because I keep taking my own life. After he passed, I am not afraid of death. I know that when I pass, 1) I’m going to see my son. 2) It is beautiful over there. From anybody that’s ever come through, it is beautiful. There’s no resentment and anger. It’s love, lessons, learning, and no judgment. We’re judged every fricking day of our lives here, but over there, there’s no judgment. I don’t want to have pain and all that when I die, but I’m not afraid of dying at all.
It’s because you’re going to a better place. The other thing your story talks about and tells us is because you’ve had this past life regression. Suicide is not something that gets punished when you cross over. Do you choose to take your life? That was a piece that needed to be healed, but it wasn’t ended in a different place or anything.
I am in contact with a lot of parents who, unfortunately, have had children that have taken their own life. It’s becoming more prevalent these days and it’s horrible. Please know that your child is not being punished one bit over there. He is being welcomed with love as my son was in a car accident, as a person who got sick through no fault of their own. They are welcomed with love and caring.
They’re even cared for more when they get over there because they have so much more to heal and they have gone through something so horrid that they felt there was no other way but to take their own life. They are shrouded with wonderful souls, teachers, and masters that are want to heal them and make them better. Please, don’t ever feel guilty and ashamed. None of those things. Your child is being loved. They’re fine.
There might be people who want to contact you to start a chapter in Toronto or find out more about Helping Parents Heal. Anything you’d like to tell us about how to get ahold of you or any messages that you have to people?
My message is I want people to know that I know what it feels like to think that you cannot get through this. I would think, “How much longer do I have to live feeling this?” You can heal. I’m not saying you can heal completely like, “I’m done. Let’s move on.” No, it’s not that. It’s something that you can learn to carry with you every single day, recognize signs, and gives you that big smile. They say, “There’s my kid telling me he’s here and he’s okay.” Helping Parents Heal is a huge group with a lot of resources. It’s not somebody like myself who can talk to you. That’s great if you want that, but there are books and resources.
There’s somebody 24/7 that can pick up the phone with you and talk to you if you’re having a bad time. Helping Parents Heal is one of the best groups that I have encountered for child loss, personally. I know there are people out there that are religious. Beliefs may get in your way. I don’t have anything to talk about that. I can only tell you that if you want to feel better and get through this process, you can. It’s not impossible. You can do it. Trust me, I lost my only child. I’ve lost my parents. I didn’t even have my mom to go to. It was horrible, but here I am, I’m surviving, thriving, looking forward to things, and laughing. I miss my son like there’s no tomorrow.
You’ve also made amazing vital connections or new connections in your life by moving on.
What I’ve lost, I’ve regained in support, love, and connections. It is possible. That’s a message I want to get out there. If you want to look up Helping Parents Heal, the web address is HelpingParentsHeal.org. Their website will show you everything, like all the groups you can go to. There are mediums you can go to.
You can go to the website. It’ll bring you to the closest one in your area. Mine is Helping Parents Heal Toronto or GTA, Greater Toronto Area. It will bring you to my site. I am one of the administrators. Teresa, my partner, is the other one. Message me, email me, or whatever you want. I want to help you. I’m not a medium.
I’ve been told that, “You can learn to do this and be a medium.” Maybe I could, but it’s not my interest to be a medium. The connection with my son is sufficient for me. However, I can certainly tell you and talk to you more about my journey and how I got to where I am. If I can help anybody, then it means that I’m helping somebody thrive. I’m helping somebody know that they can move forward with their child. Not with I am moving forward but with my child, not without my child. That is the big message that I want to get out there.
That’s beautiful. That is so helpful to people. Karen, thank you so much. For those of you who are struggling, Karen is giving us such wisdom and there is so much hope. She certainly did rebirth herself, didn’t she? It’s a wonderful story. I am so thrilled to have Karen here and to have her share her story. Make sure to follow us and like us on social at @IreneSWeinberg on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. If you’d like to be part of this Rebirth Series, please send me an email to Hello@IreneWeinberg.com. As I like to say, to be continued, many blessings, and bye for now. Thank you, Karen.
Bye, everybody. Stay strong.
- Suzanne Geisemann’s Still Right Here referenced in this episode
- Mark Pitstick’s Soul Proof referenced in this episode
- Helping Parents Heal Website
- Past Episode with Mark Pitstick