GAR 98 | Grief Journey

 

Dajana Paliokaite, who is originally from Lithuania and now lives in London,  is the first incredibly inspiring interview in our Rebirth series. Her grief journey began when her 39-year-old husband Trevor passed away from cancer when their son Luciano was only 11 months old. Three weeks after he passed, Dajana heard Trevor call her by her nickname, Bean. That was the start of her inspiring healing journey, helping Dajana to find herself and redefine her life.

 

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE:

  • How Grief and Rebirth Podcast was a catalyst to help Dajana heal and begin her Rebirth journey.
  • Dajana’s spiritual awakening just after Trevor passed.
  • How her amazing session with Medium Kat Baillie opened the floodgates to Dajana’s spiritual journey, and then Kat also became her teacher.
  • The way Trevor created a miracle to help Dajana with a health issue.

 

SOME QUESTIONS IRENE ASKS DAJANA:

  • Did you have support during this very difficult time?
  • What kind of signs does Trevor give you?
  • How are you healing your body? Are you using any alternative modalities?

Listen to the podcast here

 

Rebirth Series: Dajana Paliokaite

 

 

 

 

 

I have the high honor of beginning our Rebirth Series with an absolutely wonderful, beautiful person from the United Kingdom named Dajana Paliokaite. She has quite a story to share with us. We are beginning to do this series because I’ve introduced you to so many professionals and wonderful people who can help you out of your swamp of grief. How about people who have already done it and are actively enjoying the rebirth experience in their own lives? Without further ado, welcome, Dajana. I would want to ask you please tell us your story. I know you have a beautiful two-year-old little guy named Luciano, and your husband sadly died. Do you want to tell us what your life was like before that happened and what happened?

Thank you, Irene. First of all, I want to thank you for having me here. I’ve been a big fan of your show. They inspired me truly to be here and share my experience because your show likewise helped me. I was in a place grasping anything out there possibly to give me that hope and belief. Your show contributes to my journey. That’s the reason I’m here. It all started years ago when I came to the UK. I was not able to speak English really well.

You come from Lithuania, right?

Yes. I did all the things that I tried to do for my future. I studied, worked part-time in Dubai, and even worked at McDonald’s and so on. I met my late husband while studying and working at the bar. I met him at the bar, and he was a banker at that time. From the first day that we met, we’ve always been together. We’ve been together for 7 years and married for 5 years, so 12 years together.

He was an amazing man. He was Canadian. He came to the UK slightly earlier than me. He proposed to me in Italy. We married, and then a few years later, we had Luciano. Before giving birth to Luciano, perhaps a week, he was not feeling well. I managed to send him to doctors. He was not going to the doctor at all. That’s one of the things that men probably do. They never go to doctors.

They can be very stubborn.

I used to call him Superman. He never had a doctor or dentist. He never needed any of those throughout his entire life. It was probably strange for him to have some pain. He expected them to go away. He finally went to the doctor, and we found out that he had stage four bowel cancer. At that time, he was 39 years old. It was a week before Luciano’s birth as well. Everything was the most painful experience of my entire life. I didn’t have a good birth as well. Luciano was born with an infection. He had to remain in the intensive care unit for three weeks. At the same time, his dad Trevor spent in hospital having bowel surgery for one month.

Let me ask you. Did you have support during this time? This was so hard what you were going through. Was anyone there to help you, love you, and support you through this?

I was lucky to have my late husband’s mom, who arrived from Canada, to spend time with us as well as my mom. They were both supportive and spending time. Obviously, I was going from one hospital to another for an entire month. You have a dream of giving birth and coming back home with a baby and your husband, and that first night, but it didn’t happen for almost a month for me. I was worried for both of them, and it was an extremely hard time. We have real optimistic people. We go live our life to the fullest. I was on maternity leave for that one year, and my late husband was on sick leave for the entire year as well.

We enjoyed every moment together 24/7 with Luciano. The three of us managed to fit in 4 or 5 holidays abroad. We saw friends and enjoyed life. In between, he was having chemos, as you can imagine, and hospital appointments. As the year progressed, things were not going well. His health was deteriorating. He was not feeling well and losing a lot of weight.

It was extremely horrible to see a fit person who’s done 360 kilometers race with a bike in Majorca in Spain and then unable to walk properly. I’m looking after the baby and trying to do my best as a mom. I was in a state where I was almost hyper, shocked, and trying to hold it all together. It felt like a normal state. It only afterwards felt like I crashed because I kept on going in this adrenaline.

GAR 98 | Grief Journey

Grief Journey: Looking after the baby and living, trying to do the best as a mom, I was in a state where I was almost hyper and shocked and trying to hold it all together the same.

 

I do understand that. You’re holding it all together, and then all of a sudden, it all hits you.

My late husband’s mom remained all the time until he passed away. A week before he passed away, we first time had a chat about death. He said, “If I’m not able to meet the test of these blood results, there will be nothing else that can be done to me.” I’ve never even thought about whether the afterlife exists or not. I was not a believer. I was not ever thinking about it. I never liked thinking about death. I felt like I would think when it approached me, but I did not expect my late husband to be dying before me. Going through that was so hard. My late husband passed away on the 7th of February 2020.

Did he pass away in your home or in the hospital?

He passed away in the home we shared. I thought I’d quit the job because I’d look after him. He was able to walk all the time until probably 2 or 3 days before passing. He was not able to walk and think clearly. He was always holding on to that last moment. I felt like there was that hope. The hope dies last, as they say. In a logical mind, there was nothing you could possibly do to save his life, but I still hoped for a miracle.

I think that’s so normal. Did you have hospice or people around you, like medical people around you, where you were totally with your mother-in-law on your own, taking care of him through this?

He passed away 7th of February 2020, which was Friday. On Thursday, we only got the hospital bed and started getting some hospice help. Everything happened so quickly, from him talking and having dinner with us to being absolutely unable to move and not functioning in his brain well. Irene, it was weird because when they say, “There is a reason why you do not see your loved one’s last breath. They always almost ensure you are not there.” I was grateful that his mom was there when he died that moment because I was upstairs with my son trying to make him fall asleep. It was the first night when he wasn’t falling asleep. It was 11:00 PM, and he was still not falling asleep.

There is a reason why you do not see your loved one’s last breath. They always almost ensure you are not there. Share on X

It was strange because I didn’t understand my obvious distress. He probably was feeling it, so he wasn’t sleeping. I could suddenly hear my mother-in-law screaming his name, and I then started going downstairs. I realized that that’s when he passed away. I tried to resuscitate him. I called the ambulance, and obviously, we were not able to help him. I’ll get to this moment right now because I never thought about the afterlife. I never had a connection and never thought I would be the person who sees, knows, or feels. Ten minutes after he passed away, ambulance people did a great job changing him and cleaning him.

I sat next to him, and I looked at my mom, who also arrived very quickly from home. I looked at my mom and said, “Mom, he’s here. He’s not dead.” My mom was like, “I understand how you’re feeling. All these feelings flow, and you hope he’s still not dead.” I’m like, “What I mean is he’s somewhere here beside me.” His body is almost like a mid-suit.

You got it at that moment. You just knew.

I was like, “He’s not going anywhere.” That moment, I kept on it, but it’s gone. I was extremely devastated. The next three weeks were extremely painful. My mother-in-law was still staying with me. Before the complete lockdown, I was able to see friends and not be alone. One evening, I was completely alone, and everyone left. Now we approached the lockdown in March 2020. I was lying. He used to call me Bean, like a green bean. He was never calling me any name. I was sleeping in bed. I’m always a good sleeper. All through this time, I slept well. I don’t know how I managed that. I would switch off.

That is a blessing.

I was absolutely tired, and I’ll switch off, would wake up, see my son, and go on with the day. I’m grateful for that. If I hear a strange sound that I’m not used to hearing on a daily basis, I will wake up very quickly. I was telling so many people it was not my imagination. It’s not because I’m going through grief or I’m hoping. I am an extremely sane person and very logical as well. I would think that is crazy, but it’s not. I heard him say, “Bean,” loud and clear outside my ear. At 3:00 in the morning, I jumped. I opened my eyes because it was so loud. It woke me up. I was like, “You are here.” The next morning, I woke up and booked a trip to the medium straight away. A week later, I was sitting with the medium and listening to him.

Who was this medium? There are many in England I know. Did you just go into a phone book and like, “I have to find someone?”

I googled. I felt a good vibe about him, and I contacted him. I knew that perhaps Trevor wanted to communicate with me. I can’t ignore this. There must be something. I’m not going crazy. I know it was his voice, and he called me Bean. I was like, “I can’t ignore it.” I went and saw him. He was quite accurate. As I would say, it didn’t blow my mind. I was a bit skeptical, Irene. I was like, “I can see what you mean here, but you can say that to pretty much anyone.” He didn’t give me anything that I would be like, “Wow.”

You were looking for that meaty proof.

That opened up the floodgate of my entire journey, which is why I’m here now sitting, smiling, and absolutely grateful for my life and the opportunity I have. For all these things that I’ve received post his death, I’m so grateful. Post-death inspires me to continue looking after me and making me grow as he was when we were together. He was always teaching me and showing me the world. I think he’s still doing that. I’m astonished by that. The medium, I forgot his name. I’m sorry.

GAR 98 | Grief Journey

Grief Journey: Post-death, he continues to inspire me, look after me, and make me grow as he was when we were together.

 

That’s okay. I was just curious. If you would like the names of mediums in the UK, there are quite a few on the show. I could absolutely recommend a few to you who are wonderful. They’re right in the UK.

Would you know Kat Baillie?

Yes. That’s who I was thinking of.

Kat Baillie was my teacher. I’ve taken lessons. After I had a medium lesson, I was not able to find calmness or where I could say, “It’s done.” Something is going on. I need to find out. I started reading all the books about angels, the spiritual world, and the universe. I went into the physics and spiritual side. I read so many books every night. I was reading. I was never a person who could meditate. I could not focus. I was like, “Meditation is boring.” I’m not one of those people.

Suddenly, I’m meditating and reading these books. I’m getting inspired by these stories and tuning in to shows, including yours. I was like, “There’s something out there, and I can’t ignore it.” At that time, I had a live-in nanny because the lockdown happened. I started working so I needed someone to help me with my son. A live-in nanny stayed with me. She’s Brazilian, who absolute believer in all those. They think it’s enormous day to day for them.

It’s not an accident to me that she came into your life. It’s so interesting because when I went through my journey, I also had a very dear friend living with me who was very open to spirituality. That gave me support. That’s wonderful you had her.

She starts showing me various videos on near-death experiences, life after death, and all. We had so many signs because I knew this was Trevor. Once you open up to that belief, you realize they’re trying to communicate with you every day. It’s to keep that open mind. I realized if I even slightly doubted myself without this other non-physical dimension or existence, I shut that world. As soon as you open it up and believe it, everything is flooding into you.

Once you open up to that belief of life after death, you realize they are trying to communicate to you every day. Share on X

They give us some of the signs. What signs does he give you?

There are so many amazing ones. People don’t even believe it. They think I’m slightly cuckoo.

That’s all right. I don’t.

That’s fine because I like it. You don’t have to believe it. You keep an open mind. I’ll pick a few. A really big one is I was having a lot of wrist and hand pain. I guess the stress and carrying the baby all the time caused me so much pain. It was burning. I was thinking of it, nothing else. I’ve ordered my son from Amazon a strap to strap him in and walk him like a walker so he doesn’t fall down. I’m holding him. It arrived. I get a message on my phone with my desk. He says, “Your parcel has been delivered.” I run to the door to see the parcel. It’s a little box. I opened it, and it’s a wrist protection.

I’m like, “I did not order wrist protection.” It goes on your wrist and stabilizes your wrist so you don’t move it too much, and it lets it heal. I did not order it. I went on Amazon. They’re like, “I checked everywhere your orders,” and I did not even speak out loud. Alexa or Amazon Echo, all these technologies could hear me. None of it. It was always in my head. I did not even plan toward anything like that because I don’t think they would help.

That’s wonderful. Spirit does play with the electronics, and they can do that. He went online. He placed an order for you.

He showed me there was an Amazon person trying to pack it, and he confused that person to pack the wrist protection instead of the harness for the baby. That’s what he’s done. Prior to that, I’ve been taking Kat Baillie mediumship lessons.

By the way, everyone, I have to say Kat Baillie is wonderful. You can find her on the show. She has done a few events for the show. I love this, and I love that you saw Kat. That’s marvelous.

She’s wonderful. She taught me to meditate and to connect. We’ve done wonderful things. I realized I’m clairvoyant. She opened up this gate for me even further. We have photos on TV, but you would have to turn them on or specific way. They would turn on themselves. The TV has never turned on its own for God knows how many years, but it started turning on. The night before, I was having a little prayer because of the COVID virus stroke, and we are in lockdown, so we are all worried. I was lying in my bed and thinking, “Please protect all my friends and family. I hope nobody gets ill.” I’m in total worry all the time now. It’s the last thing we need with this disease coming.

The next morning, me and my live-in nanny were sitting and watching TV, and I could hear the big bang in the corridor. I come in and find that this umbrella has fallen. It was nicely tucked-in in the corner of the shelf so you would need an earthquake to move it. It was literally a bang. I was like, “What’s going on?” My live-in nanny says, “Google, I think it’s a sign for protection.” I’m like, “Okay.” The spiritual sign appears to be on Google, saying that an umbrella is a way of showing protection and shelter. You are safe. I was saying to please protect everyone, and then the umbrella fell. I stopped believing there was a coincidence as such. There are no coincidences. All these things never happened to me. Now suddenly, everything is happening.

I was taking these lessons with Kat Baillie. I had a reading with her, and I felt a really good vibe about her. I realized that she does lessons. I emailed her, and we agreed to that. Her reading was amazing. She tried to tell me my son’s name. She was trying hard and said, “Trevor is showing me Pavarotti. I don’t know what that means.” I’m like, “Pavarotti’s first name is Luciano.” She blew me away. I’m like, “Really? You communicated with my husband.” She described where we work and how we go to work. He even tried to lead her to my nickname. He took her to the garden, and she saw so many vegetables. My nickname is Beans, so he’s trying to show beans.

I was astonished. I was like, “That’s it. There’s no way I’m not going to believe my late husband is alive. His spirit is here. He’s with us every day.” I started noticing how my son would laugh looking into space and giggle. He would be pointing at things or staring at something for a long time. After these lessons, we did connect with Trevor many times. I connected with Kat’s loved ones who passed away and their friends. I described how they died, and she was like, “Dajana, you can see so well.” It was the second lesson, and I was already seeing it all. Kat said to me, “I can’t believe that in the second lesson, you’re doing everything right.”

There’s so much to tell. We had probably 7 or 8 lessons, and then she let me go and said, “I think you’re doing well.” I continued my journey, meditating a lot, connecting, and receiving signs, which I’ve received so many. My door alarm broke, and I was getting these signs that somebody was breaking into my house. I was seeing somebody breaking into my house in my dream and then in my meditation. I was crying and saying to Trevor, “Why are you scaring me so much?” It’s scary, but that was his way of saying, “Please put the alarm and fix it.”

It’s not necessarily going to be broken into. It’s just a way of saying. I said, “How do I understand these images and messages?” I start looking at other books on how you interpret these signs. It’s difficult when you don’t know what it means. If it means us going across the street, you wouldn’t even know that. It means maybe color, and then you pick up some other image and something else.

You’re working hard from the other side. They don’t have a body. They’re manipulating energy and trying to get into your brain to give you a message. They’re working hard to get that through to you. You’re cooperating by trying to learn what they’re able to tell you means.

That didn’t end. I’m going to finish shortly now. There was a period when I was doing this all on my own. I’m researching constantly and learning, and then I start doing energy medicine because I realized all the energy around us and how I can manipulate it to make myself feel better. By the time summer came, it was probably six months, and I felt extremely inspired. I felt light, grateful, and I continued being grateful. I was still hurting, but what I was doing is I was seeing that there’s more to life than this. We are in this physical dimension and I am here with the reason. If I let my late husband down by moping around, being sad, crying, and not inspiring my son to grow into a great man, then who am I?

There is more to life than this. We are just in this physical dimension, and we are here with a reason. Share on X

I thought, “There’s no time to waste. I want to live this life and prove to my late husband that his death is not the end of anyone’s life, all these friends, and our life. It’s the beginning of a new discovery.” His death brought something so big in my life that I’ve never would have done in any possible way unless for his death. I want to make him proud and see that I am doing all these things because of him. I had a couple of other mediums because I did want to realize that what I was seeing was right. The next medium I had laughed at me. She’s like, “You don’t need me, Dajana. Why are you here?” This was probably three months later. She’s in America, and I forgot her name. I’m so bad with names. She’s a lovely lady in America.

We had a call on WhatsApp. She saw my face and said straight away, “Dajana, I’m going to tell you straight away. You and your husband are not disconnected. You are very much connected. I’m not really sure if I’m going to help you much.” I’m like, “What do you mean? You are going to help me.” She did help. I probably was 99% sure he was alive in spirit, but I needed that icing on the cake.

There was a validation. You’re connected. She saw who you were, which was fantastic.

Some people refer to meditation as switching off their minds. Mine is traveling to a certain different dimension, meeting my late husband’s guide and lots of other beautiful spirits. Every time I would end up in the same place, this place is all green. If you have ever been to Bali, I’ve never been, but I’ve seen photos. It’s green and waterfalls. There’s a sea somewhere. You can hear the sea and see tropical birds and flowers. I would always end up in the same place. Trevor would always come somewhere on the stones jumping and saying, “Hi, Bean.” He would either take me to the beach or lift me up, and we would fly, or there would be other spirit guides lifting me up and making me feel better and heal my body.

There are so many varieties that I’ve gone through this. When I asked this medium in America where I had that call, she said, “What else do you want to ask me?” She was saying everything was yes. She was very specific and on point about Trevor’s items that he owned. I was blown away already. She said, “What else do you want to ask?” I was like, “Can you ask Trevor to show you a place where we always meet?” Bear in mind, that place is only in my head. I’ve never spoken to anyone. It’s not written somewhere on my public profile. I’ve never even told anyone about it. Two minutes by looking a little bit away, she says, “I can see it’s green. I can see a waterfall, lots of flowers, and these stones. I can see Trevor always comes and meet you on these stones.”

I had this 100% light energy flushed through me. Irene, I see my husband standing right next to me and saying, “I told you to believe. What else do you need?” I could hear him in my brain while I was talking to her at the same time. I see him, and he’s shaking his head, “I told you.” I see him anytime. I don’t even think of him. He just appears and says something to me. I can hear him, and I’m like, “This is unreal.” That’s all I needed. Now I’m going to another level trying to heal my body because of this experience. My body is hurting from all the stress.

What are you doing to heal your body? By doing alternative things, or are you doing traditional?

I do yoga, meditation, energy medicine, and sometimes physio. I start to believe in different things. Even my life’s purpose is different. My goal was to become a senior banker and always be working in a professional background. I don’t want to do any of it. I want to find peace and calm. I want to inspire and help people. I want to somehow do these good things to people I’ve received from them while I was going through this journey then I start appreciating things. My friends, family, and everything decided to be a burst of love as if myself has been enlightened together by this experience. I should have been feeling miserable and horrible.

GAR 98 | Grief Journey

Grief Journey: I want to find peace and calm. I want to inspire people. I want to help. I want to do these good things to people that I’ve received from them when I was going through this journey.

 

Some people would say, “How did they do this?” I think there’s the discovery of trying to follow my late husband’s guidance and then together being curious and hoping for some openness to believe that not all is as we see. Now I know this is a meat suit. There are some other worlds and dimensions, and now we can connect to the universe. I start looking at things on how I train myself so I connect better to high consciousness, make better decisions, live a better life, or find the meaning of life or a purpose to my life and what I should be doing.

I think my life is not working in the bank but somehow helping people. I was never empathetic. I was quite a harsh, strong career woman. Now I am feeling a lot and emotional. If something happens to a stranger, I’m feeling emotional. I could watch things on TV happening, and I would be like, with my straight face, “Such is life.” Whereas now, I’m feeling it.

You are truly a sterling example of someone who has been rebirthed. Even your heart was seated, and you’ve grown in every way. Do you think you would want to become a healer on your own at some point?

What I’ve noticed is if I push for things or try to do them, it won’t happen. What I’m feeling is I’m going to get to the stage where I’ll be somehow helping people. That’s my end goal. I’m not going to be orientated by money or career. Giving the happiness of a person I help will give me more than money or anything else would. That’s where I’m getting, and I can feel I’m going to go there. I’m trying to find ways. I’m worried about my job like, “What’s going to happen if I don’t do this job and I do something else?” I’m always very careful. I don’t take risks as such. I’m waiting for this guidance instead of jumping into it. I feel like everything is happening for a reason slowly, and I’m giving it a chance to evolve itself.

That’s so absolutely wonderful. Do you know how many people you’re helping just with this interview? You have tuned into this and gotten so much comfort. Do you know how many people say, “Here’s a person out of the blue living in London. Look at what she experienced. How real is this? Look what she did with her life.” That is so admirable. You’re helping many people.

I want to tell you we are all going to die and lose people. We all need to know that we will meet one day. All lives are connected. The people who passed away are always in our lives and are so happy. If you are happy, they will be even happier. That’s the most important. If you can’t be happy for yourself, be happy for the people who passed away because they are no longer here and can do things with you. They’re not hurting. They are in this divine.

GAR 98 | Grief Journey

Grief Journey: If you can’t be happy for yourself, be happy for the people who passed away because they’re no longer here to do things with you. If you are happy, they will be even happier.

 

They’re not hurting. They’re actually your best fans and trying to help you. The one I’m happiest for is your son. Luciano is going to be brought up with a mom who is able to have real joy instead of being stuck in your pain your whole life. You’ll be able to say to him, “I see all these wonderful things about you that were like your dad.” You’ll be able to give him faith in himself. Life will not be a drama. Life will be a joy and will be good. I’m so happy for you. I think this is not the last time we’re going to chat with each other. I am very grateful that you came on because, Dajana, you are christening this series. I could not think of a better person. How lucky we are for you to be the first person to tell us about your experience. It’s a blessing for us too. I’m grateful. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

I’m going to remind everyone that you can see all of our episodes on social, @IreneSWeinberg on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. If you would like to be a part of this Rebirth Series, please send me an email to Hello@IreneWeinberg.com. You, too, can inspire people the way Dajana has. What a blessing. We are so grateful. Thank you.

 

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