Would you love to do something but can’t quite find the courage to do it? Today, Master Integrative Life Coach Nancy Pickard, who is the author of the international bestseller Bigger Better Braver, coaches us to love ourselves, conquer our fears, and embrace the courage to transform our lives. She also explains the importance of setting healthy boundaries and reveals why healing is an “inside job.” Tune into this episode, step out of your fears, and become inspired to embrace a bigger, better, braver version of yourself! 

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE:

• How to use your loss to discover the lessons and gifts that can come from it.
• Nancy’s journey to finding inner love for herself.
• Nancy’s spectacular experience climbing Kilimanjaro.
• How Nancy coaches a person to uncover and embrace their shadow beliefs so they can be free to live a bigger life.

SOME QUESTIONS IRENE ASKS NANCY:

• How did you find inner love for yourself after the devastation of your divorce?
• How does coaching help a person gain clarity about the type of relationships he or she wants in their life?
• How do you coach a person to become a “boundary badass?
• In what ways can fear be the catalyst to get us to move forward?

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Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Nancy Pickard: Transform Your Life To Become Bigger, Better, And Braver

I’m delighted to have this opportunity to interview Nancy Pickard, who is the author of the international bestseller, Bigger Better Braver: Conquer Your Fears, Embrace Your Courage, and Transform Your Life. Nancy will be speaking to us from California. Originally, you were in Aspen, Colorado.

I live in both places. I’m in Marin in Mill Valley.

I thought we were going to be talking to you in Colorado, but we are talking to you in California. Nancy, who has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and a Master of Science in Education is a certified master integrative life coach and a holistic health lifestyle coach. She holds multiple personal training certifications. She is also the Head of Mentor Training at The Ford Institute, whose mission is to empower and awaken individuals and organizations throughout the world with its unique training and educational programs that transform lives.

Nancy, who is the mother of two sons and the grandmother of four, loved her life until the day her 26-year marriage unexpectedly crumbled. Coaching opened her eyes to see the role she had played in her life circumstances, helping her to realize that she had been following a life blueprint that was not her own.

Little by little, Nancy changed into a woman who makes choices for herself, and she no longer lives her life based on what anyone else thinks. I’m with you, Nancy. She notably climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, the majestic snowcap volcano that is the highest peak in Africa when she was 61 years old. Nancy now coaches others to step out of their fear and step into bigger versions of themselves, guiding them to explore their own Kilimanjaro so that they too can live more fulfilling lives.

I’m looking forward to talking with Nancy, who is a terrific role model for grief to healing and rebirth about how to move on from loss, and her journey to finding inner love for herself, her spectacular experience climbing Kilimanjaro, how shadow beliefs can sabotage your life, and her book, Bigger Better Braver and more for what is surely going to be an interview that will inspire and motivate us. Nancy, a warm welcome to the show.

Thank you. That was some introduction.

You deserve it. I was reading about you and was like, “I want to let these people know who are going to read this how special you are and how much you have done with your life.” It’s very impressive. Let’s help everybody get to know you from the bottom up. Let’s begin with this question. Please tell us about your life before your divorce, and share what inspired you to seek coaching, which led you to healing and transformation.

I was married for 26 years. We lived in New Jersey. I was a stay-at-home mom until my kids were 5 and 6, and then I taught nursery school, and then I opened up a personal training gym. For sixteen years, I was a personal trainer in my home. We had a beautiful large home, and that whole basement was this gorgeous Cybex gym.

I had two sons who did lacrosse, football, and everything, but my marriage imploded and it was not what I wanted. I never saw it coming. I did not have the tools to know how to manage it. I hit bottom. I was beyond devastated. I tried to save it for a whole year because I had a son who was a junior and another son who had just started college, and this was the beautiful family I had built and the future that I thought I was going to have. For all of us who have suffered any kind of grief and loss, a lot of what we have lost is the future that we thought we were going to have. It’s not just what’s happening, but it’s our future. It’s the death of your dreams. It’s the death of the life that you know and the life that you plan for. Not necessarily the life you were meant to have, but at the time, you don’t know that. You don’t know what’s up.

I didn’t have a big spiritual belief. I was brought up Jewish and was culturally Jewish, but I didn’t have a big spiritual belief at the time. I had gone away on a hiking trip with a friend of mine while my marriage was dying. I was devastated. I needed to get away. We were in Red Mountain, Utah, which is an Indian burial ground territory.

I went out for a hike the last day before we left. It was 104 degrees, and I went for a run because I hadn’t gone running yet. All of a sudden, my Walkman that I was listening to stopped playing. I stopped and hit it, and I heard this voice say, “You will be fine.” It was loud, and I looked all around me. Nobody was there, but I noticed it because I had been running looking down to see where I was running.

I noticed that I was in the middle of a valley with mountains all around me. I was so freaked out. Just like that, the music went back on and I finished running home. I came back and I literally was late for a massage. I was telling the woman the story, and she said to me, “It’s like you were playing Super Mario and you got to the next level.” Many years later, I was reading about transitions, and they named that place as one of the places where if you are open and ready for a transition, you will be able to hear voices. Had I read that book before I had the experience, I never would have believed it.

Everyone reading this knows my story all about the car accident. I got a message two months before and a voice came into my head as they pulled me out of the car. I think someone loves us and wanted us to know.

At the time, I didn’t have that awareness. Even though I heard it, I didn’t take it in. It didn’t give me the peace that if I got that message now, I would be all over it.

You and I validated each other’s experience. All of this time later, I’m hearing from you that you had a similar experience and vice versa, which is wonderful. It’s a gift. I didn’t know either. When it happened to me, I had no idea also.

You don’t even take it in. You don’t know.

All I knew was something was up because this was very different. How did you pick yourself up and find this inner love for yourself after the devastation of your divorce?

It was a long haul.

How many years do you think it took you?

I started dating immediately because I thought I needed to get married again and I needed to fix that picture. I dated a lot, and then I was engaged to somebody else. When that fell apart after six years, that’s when I got the message that you don’t just be a picker. There are lessons that you need to learn that you are not learning, and I didn’t want to be devastated a third time.

I got myself a Debbie Ford Healing Your Heart coach, and she helped me. While I was coaching with her, I had already known intrinsically I wanted to become a Debbie Ford coach. I coached with her for about a year, and then I started another year-long training to become a coach. That was several years ago, and I had probably 7 or 8 certifications since then.

I was like, “When did this woman ever sleep?” You have accomplished so much in your life. It’s fantastic. Why were you drawn to the Debbie Ford coaching program?

I started to see a therapist after the end of my divorce. She recommended Debbie’s book called Spiritual Divorce. It was reading Debbie’s book that was life-changing for me, and so I knew right then and there that I needed to work with somebody who does this for a living.

I know now what inspired you to become a coach, but you talk about a lot, and I’d love you to share with our audience why we owe it to ourselves and the universe to heal and stop playing small and what you learned.

I work with grieving clients a lot. I’m certified as a grief counselor as well through David Kessler. Everybody has to grieve. There is no timeline. Nobody should tell you how long you should grieve, when you should be done, or when you should move on. Eventually, you have to pick yourself up and recognize that you are on this earth and that you have certain qualities and gifts that you need to share with the world.

I truly believe it’s our responsibility to be everything we can be, whatever that means. It’s going to mean different things to different people, but the thing that keeps us plain small are two things. It’s our disempowering beliefs formed in our childhood and our fears that also have a lot to do with our disempowering beliefs. Instead of letting my fear hold me back and keep me small, I have learned to cultivate my fear and use it as a driving force for change so that anything that I’m afraid to do, I know I have to do it.

If a person comes to you and says, “I don’t think I have any gifts. This is what I did. This is my life. There are so many people around me. They are more talented than I am. There are all these big achievers who are doing this. What are you telling me that there are lessons from me to learn and that I have gifts that I can share with people?” what do you say to people?

I say we all have gifts and you can’t judge yourself on other people, and that people see in you what unfortunately you can’t even see in yourself right now. Our self-worth can be put around what other people think about us being other referenced. It can be about our acquisitions. It could be about our material things or the feats that we do.

“I’m worthy because I’m a CEO or I’m worthy because I drive a Porsche.” All of these things are not how we get our worth. They are not how we should get our worth. It’s intrinsic. I’m worthy because I’m on this earth. When I can help my clients understand that they don’t have to do or be anything to be worthy, they can first start to grow and first start to try to see what their gifts are without judging themselves against other people.

You don't have to do or be anything to be worthy. You can first start to grow and try to see what your gifts are without judging yourself against other people. Click To Tweet

That’s that whole piece about caring about what other people think as opposed to your own self-regard. I’m sure you helped them to get in touch with their own value.

We weren’t brought up that way. We are very other-referenced. I’m worthy because my husband thinks I’m worthy, not I’m worthy because I know I’m worthy.

I can remember when my grandfather died. I was eight years old, and my grandmother was crying. He had passed, and she said, “I have now lost my crown.” I will never forget that. A lot of people feel that way.

When I got divorced, I had to learn. I had to relearn to love myself because I was very other-referenced, “If he no longer wanted me, then I must not be worthy.” I couldn’t see that it was more about him than me, and that it was his process and what he needed. He needed a young thing on his arm, and I was his age. He couldn’t be that. I had to learn, I had to relearn, or maybe even learn for the first time that I know worthy and amazing, and I can love my awesomeness, my flawsomeness, and everything about me. That’s who I am. That’s how I live my life.

When it comes to healing the heart, which was a big theme for Debbie Ford, for you, and for the people who are grieving and who go through so much, how do you help a person gain clarity about the type of relationships they want in their life, be it same-sex or love relationships? What do you advise people?

The thing about the Debbie Ford Healing Your Heart work that I do is that you start right away. We help you see how you co-created it. What are your beliefs or what was your part, especially in the death of somebody? We do it differently with death. With death, it’s more about how to get rid of the magical thinking that you could have done something differently and saved their life or if you had not had them go there, that type of stuff.

When you see that on some level even if it’s the thoughts that you have in your mind, you brought this person into your life. You co-created this relationship. You can step out of being the victim in your story. Once you step out of being the victim in your story, you lose some of the drama, some of the resistance, and some of the stuckness, and that’s where we start.

You can step out of being the victim in your story. Once you do, you lose some of the drama, the resistance, and the stuckness. Click To Tweet

I help you rebuild yourself again and figure out, “What do you want? What do you need? What are the lessons that you need to learn?” In terms of getting into a new relationship, I worked with people who have been married for 40 years. I had an 88-year-old client whose wife had probably been with him for 60 years or longer.

I had to teach him that relationships can look different. They don’t have to look the way they did and you could make this new relationship any way you want. What are the lessons at the same time that I’m helping them? How are you going to honor the person who died and what can you do to honor them while you are moving forward? What are the tools that you can do so you can grieve in a way that’s also going to be healing? There’s so much where you can help people and support them in their grief and in their loss, finding a new vision, finding a new path, and helping them tiny step by step how to move forward 1 inch at a time.

One of the most positive things about working with someone like you is that you get people to be open to change. People are so very resistant to change. It takes a lot of courage to step out of your box. I can remember that being one of my biggest challenges when Saul died. I was going to do a life transition coach, and she was saying to me we are going to talk about who’s Irene without Saul. I was like, “I don’t want to be Irene without Saul.” It took a lot of courage to start to peek out to discover myself outside those boundaries.

It’s called cognitive dissonance. Our brain loves what it knows. It doesn’t even care if it’s successful. It takes a lot of calories for your brain to do something different, and your brain is lazy and doesn’t want to do something different. It wants what it knows even if what it knows is no longer working for you. Who was I going to be without this partner in my life was scary. We were together for 26 years. He wanted a new life. I wanted the life I had, and it was scary for me, lonely, and sad while I was trying to be there for my sons and not make them victims in this also. It was a lot of work.

Our brain loves what it knows, even if what it knows no longer works for us. Click To Tweet

It’s a lot of work, but look at where you are now, and now you are able to help so many people. I want to talk to you also about shadow beliefs because everything we are talking about has to do with shadow beliefs, people’s inner critics, and how these shadow beliefs are limiting beliefs that can sabotage our lives especially when we want to change. How do you help a person uncover and embrace their shadow beliefs so that they can give themselves permission to live a bigger life which is so scary?

Let me define what a shadow belief is. A shadow belief is a belief that we make in our childhood under the age of ten. There’s an emotional event that happens. We are too young to understand it, and it passes right through our conscious and goes into our subconscious, but it’s, “I’m not worthy. I’m broken. I need to stay quiet to be loved. I need to be perfect to be loved. My voice and needs don’t matter. Love and life mean putting everyone in front of me.” All of these are beliefs that we get because of things that happened.

When I was five years old, I was playing with a lighter and I put myself on fire. I didn’t realize until I was 50 years old that I had formed a belief that I wasn’t safe alone. It makes perfect sense for a five-year-old who put herself on fire, but it doesn’t make sense for a 45-year-old who’s getting a divorce and doesn’t know how to be okay alone.

It was many years later that I was in a car accident and I was working with my shadow coach that I was able to uncover that belief. Once you uncover it and you bring it into your conscious mind, which now has your wise adult brain, you can say, “Of course, I’m safe alone,” and then you start to do actionable things to prove it like go alone to Africa and climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. That’s where that came from. That’s what motivated me to prove to myself how capable I was and that I could do this without my girlfriends, a partner, or anybody else.

That’s another part because one of the challenges I noticed for a lot of people, and for me, is being able to function and be okay with being alone. I used to get assignments from my coach to eat dinner without a friend and sit at the table by myself. She was like, “I want you to practice.” Now, I have been with groups where I can sit waiting for someone or I can be by myself and go somewhere. I still see so many people. They can’t go anywhere unless they have someone to walk with them through that door.

I still don’t love going deep by myself, but I do get that.

You can do it if you have to. That’s what we learned.

Go to a movie alone, travel alone, and all of that. Some people are great with it.

I’m like you. I’d rather be with somebody, but I have learned that I can do it, which is empowering. Talk to us also about leaky boundaries and how a person when they work with you becomes a boundary badass.

It’s not hard to be a boundary badass because once I teach you how to set healthy boundaries, you see the benefit in them and so you want to do it more and more. Back to the shadow beliefs, if you are somebody who has the belief, “My needs don’t matter. My voice doesn’t matter. My opinion doesn’t matter,” or love and life mean putting everybody in front of you if you are a people pleaser or a conflict avoider, you will have a hard time setting a healthy boundary.

I help my clients with a script to learn how to ask for what they need with grace and ease. “I feel X when you do Y. Would you be willing to do a Z?” It’s an ask. They don’t have to do it, but you are telling them how you are feeling. You are not making it about them. You are making it about you, “I feel disrespected when you leave your clothes all over the floor. Would you be willing to put them in the hamper? I feel lonely. If you don’t check in with me every day, would you be willing to text me once a day? I feel disrespected when you talk over me on a Zoom call in a meeting. Would you be willing to wait until I’m done talking?”

How do you coach them if the person says, “No, I’m not willing?”

There’s always got to be a plan B because nobody can cross your boundary but you. You are the one that said it. You can’t make somebody do it. In order to honor and respect myself, the next time you talk over me in a meeting, I’m going to stop you and say, “I’m sorry, but I was still talking. I’m not going to sit there and take it. I’m going to let you know this is what I’m going to do.” I have had clients whose husbands drink too much and get angry. They are angry drunks. I need you to stop after the second glass. If you don’t stop after the second glass, I’m going to be sleeping alone in the bedroom that night.

You are putting it out there, or if you have more than two drinks when we are out, even if we are with ten other people, if that third drink comes, I’m going to quietly get up and leave the restaurant. You have to make yourself a priority. You have to ask for what you need and then you have to set boundaries, and then you have to maintain the boundary. Nobody else is responsible but you. Do not set a boundary that you cannot maintain.

What about people who are afraid to set boundaries because they are afraid they won’t be loved or they will be rejected or all of that thing? I’m sure you get that question all the time.

I’m a boundary coach. We work on that week by week and we start with a cherry on top boundaries that are not important. We start with little boundaries and we work our way up. I did a group boundary coach with Penn women once. One of the girls said to me, “I’d become such a boundary badass,” and then the next week she said, “My husband said to me, ‘I wake up every day to new boundaries. Would you be willing to set them up once a week?’”

They were negotiating the boundaries now. I have got a favorite question here to ask you. I lit up when I saw that you do empowered parenting coaching, “I’m the grandmother of a four-year-old. He doesn’t want to eat, he’s stubborn, and he’s driving them crazy.” How do you reach out to help them restore balance and find joy when the kid is having tantrums and all that jazz?

It is a fine line because they are young, but you have to teach them resiliency. You have to set boundaries. You can’t just give them what they want. You have to be willing to have a tantrum in the middle of the store or the grocery store and let them scream it out. You have to be willing to be the adult and not give them everything but also let them have a choice.

It doesn’t have to be your way or the highway. “You can eat this or you can eat that.” Not just, “You have to eat this.” I help my parents see what they do right and not just what they do wrong as a parent because it’s very scary the first time around being a parent. I help them teach the child that it’s okay to fail and it’s okay to fall. It’s not how many times they fall or fail, but to get up. It’s about the juices and the journey. I say to my grandchildren all the time, “What did you do that was bigger, better, and braver?” It’s not about success. Stop telling them how smart they are and that they won and they are great. It’s about what did you do now that you were afraid to do but you did anyway.

It’s also about getting your fairytale version of what you thought parenting was going to be and how wonderful and perfect a parent you were going to be and how wonderful and perfect your child was going to be. This is the child that you have, not the one that you think you deserve. Work here, be here and look for what’s right instead of what’s wrong because you are going to get more of what you put your attention to.

All of these are the tools and tips that I help my clients with. Also, I help them so that they can minimize the shadow beliefs that their children are now developing. Our children model what we do, what we say, and what we don’t do. If you give them false empowerment, that’s not going to be healthy for them. If you are too enmeshed with them, that’s not going to be healthy for them. If you overtake responsibility for them, they learn to undertake responsibility for themselves. You have to balance all of these things, and it’s not easy.

Sometimes you need a coach to help you get it right. I want to share you with our audience because we want to know why you decided to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. You alluded to it before. Tell us about the spectacular experience you had. We know that you started with a cheat sheet because you were in good shape. You had your own gym downstairs, so you are already doing that.

I live in Aspen, Colorado, so I got to train and hike Fourteeners. I live at 7,500 and I hike, ski, and bike in up to 10,000 or 11,000 daily. That all helped.

You are at a higher altitude too.

That’s what I’m saying. I wanted to do something to prove that I still had it. I used to own a gym, so athleticism has always been a big part of my life. I had read a book about a woman who did an eat, pray, and love thing. I tried for a couple of years and I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. I saw this thing the Team In Training for leukemia was doing their first trip, and I had done marathons, triathlons, and all bike centuries with Team In Training. I loved doing that, combining something that I wanted to do while raising money for others. It was a perfect match for me.

There was no group near me in Aspen, Colorado, but I joined one in California. I did one hike with them, but I was in Aspen most of the time. I trained on my own and I met them on the plane. I ended up with my own Sherpa because I couldn’t go as slow as other people were going. They were all in their 20s and 30s. This was my event and I wanted to be able to do it my way, and I did and I loved it. It was amazing. I had forgotten whom I spoke to but a healer. I was at some resort retreat, and I said, “I want this to be a spiritual awakening for me.” He said, “Just stay in the present moment, and it will be,” and it was.

How long did it take you to do that entire climb?

There are different ways to do it. The trip that I was on was an eight-day. The reason why it’s eight days is that you start on one side of the mountain, and when you get to 13,000 feet, you traverse for two more nights to the other side. You then go to 15,000 feet and go up to 19,341 and back down. You could do it in 4 days or 3 days, but your chance of being successful is way less because you haven’t acclimated like I did at the 13,000. Once you get to this side, it’s dirty and there are zillions of people. It’s not like it used to be. For the first 2/3 of it, you don’t see other groups. It’s beautiful. It’s quiet. It was an exceptional experience. I recommended it to everybody.

Did you come down the same way you went up? How does that work? Now you are exhilarated, you have had this amazing experience.

They wake you up at midnight and you start the climb. You get to the top around 6:00 AM. You are only up there for about ten minutes because it’s so high. People are vomiting blood, especially if they are not in good shape. A lot of the people had to be helped down. You get back to 15,000. They give you an hour to sleep and then you hike all the way down to 10,000 feet. You go from 15,000 to 19,000 to 10,000 in 24 hours, and my body was shot.

In this book that I told you about, she was a 25-year-old girl. She talks about how she gets back to her room. She takes off all her clothes and she doesn’t even recognize herself because she’s so emaciated. I’m 61 by the time I went. I get down after all that pounding on my body. I take off my clothes and was so swollen and puffy because it was so much work for my body to do that I thought, “I’m not that fantasy storybook I read about. This is real life.”

This is the older model of what happens when you come down to Kilimanjaro, but you did it, which is fantastic. Tell us about Bigger Better Braver: Conquer Your Fears, Embrace Your Courage, and Transform Your Life. It’s a wonderful book. I’m going to start by asking you why we resist the changes we want to make in our lives, and then tell us anything else you’d to tell us about your book.

We resist change because of what I said before. Our brain likes what it knows. We feel safe. Even if it’s not working, it’s comfortable. Even if it’s not comfortable, it feels safe. That’s our ego who wants to be safe, wants to stay small, and wants to believe in all of those negative stories we tell ourselves and the Imposter syndrome, “I’m not enough. I can’t do it. That’s for other people. It’s too late. I’m too old. I don’t have enough money.” All of these are disempowering beliefs that we have. They keep us plain small.

Our ego wants to be safe, stay small, and believe in all of the negative stories we tell ourselves. All of these are disempowering beliefs that we have that keep us playing small. Click To Tweet

I originally thought I was going to write a book called What’s Your Kilimanjaro? What’s out there that you want to do? This is what it’s about, but I knew that nobody was going to read a book unless they wanted to climb Kilimanjaro. I tried hard. I couldn’t come up with a name for the book and everyone said, “Stop thinking about it. Let it go for a couple of months.”

I got a download. At 2:00 in the morning, I woke up and said to my partner, “Bigger Better Braver,” and that was it. I had written a self-help book for people who can’t afford a coach or don’t even recognize that they need a coach, but maybe they want to travel alone, lose 20 pounds, get into a relationship, leave a job, or start their own business. Any of these things, whatever it is, there’s always something out there that we are afraid to do, and my book is a step-by-step how to do it.

It is wonderful and is so helpful for people. It talks a lot about to conquer your fears. You say when you are afraid, you just go for it.

When I was training for Kilimanjaro, I used to say, “If you don’t do this, you won’t be able to climb Kilimanjaro. If you don’t ski down that double black diamond, you are not going to be able to climb Kilimanjaro.” After I wrote the book, you get this gut feeling. I have been asked to write a course at genconnectU. At first, I suggest right away, but then I’m like, “They must think I know more than I do.” I could say to myself, “No, the moment you build that course, then that’s who you are. You just have to step in. All of the growth is on the other side. All of the fear and the anxiety dissipates the moment you step out of your comfort zone and you take that first step.”

Would you say that’s about fake it until you make it? I have heard that said a lot. Step out of your fear even though you are so scared, but go do it.

Just do it and then you will be it.

People are perking up and saying, “Maybe I want to talk to Nancy over here.” Do you want to tell us about your group coaching and your one-on-one coaching? You also have a Free Discovery Call.

I always offer a free call because people are interested but they don’t know how it works, how long, or what the investment is. I always have a free call. You can get that on my website, email me, or any of the above. I’m doing the new group coaching called The New Relationship Blueprint. It’s a certification that I have gotten from the Levin Life Coaching, Nancy Levin. It’s beautiful and I love it.

I’m also working with Terry Real in Relational Life Therapy. I put those together. It’s the new paradigm of how you can be in a relationship where you can hold yourself in warm regard while you hold your partner in warm regard. What are the tools and how do you change the paradigm of what relationships should look like? The Bigger Better Braver group coaching is my book, and then each week, we go deeper. We cover what’s in the book. There’s a workbook and there are audios, and then there are internal processes that I do with them.

The least expensive way to get my work is through the book. The second one is I have an evergreen course called Bigger, Better Braver, that you can listen to the audio and do on your own. The third one is to do it in a group with other women and men. You are learning from each other. I do it all by Zoom. Even all my coaching is by Zoom. I have clients all over the world. It doesn’t matter where they are. My one-on-one coaching is the most specific where we work on whatever you need to work on with any of my coaching modalities, but it’s just you and me. It’s one-on-one.

You have got something called the genconnectU course?

genconnectU is a women’s platform for women entrepreneurs or businesswomen. It’s all the courses. My course is called Bigger Better Braver Career Strategies and Tools for Achieving Your Greatest Potential. It’s very similar in essence to Bigger, Better, Braver, but it’s specific to women and careers.

Do you have a special offer for our readers?

I do. I have a coupon for 20% off that I will send to you.

We will be very happy to let people know all about that. Why is healing an inside job, and how do you help your clients shine a light and point the way toward healing?

Healing is an inside job because it’s all about us. You can’t get healed by somebody else. You can’t find love if you don’t feel it at first inside. I have a lot of clients in their 30s and 40s that come to me who want a partner. They don’t have a partner and life is passing them by. I tell them, “You got to update for a few months because we have to work on you because you have to become the partner you want to attract. You have to be it first. You have to believe in yourself first. You have to love yourself and trust yourself and stay in integrity with your word, and then you will attract that because you have become that.”

Even the clients that I work with, because now I do couples coaching, it’s almost their wounds. They have attracted the exact person to trigger their wounds. Either they are going to break up or they are going to say, “No. Wherever I go, there I am. Let me work on myself with my partner there so that I can make the changes because if it’s not going to be this partner, it’s going to be the next partner.”

If you are in a partnership and one of them is working on healing their wounds and the other isn’t, the other is going to outgrow the other.

When I work with these couples, it’s amazing. It’s like I’m watching a show saying, “This person has this wound because it’s like a lock and key.” You are triggering each other’s childhood wounds, but we can work on them. You can have compassion for each other about those wounds, and that’s the beauty of the work.

While you are having compassion and you are working on it, you are starting to recognize it and heal it. That’s what it’s all about. What is Nancy’s tip for finding joy in life?

It’s staying in integrity with what you tell yourself you are going to do. It is. What’s the most self-honoring thing I can do for myself now? Make sure you do it. Wherever you feel you are out of integrity, you have got to clean that up.

You live your truth.

I do.

As do I. It’s so freeing and wonderful. I love this quote from your book, Bigger Better Braver, “Where do you want to watch the world from, the couch, the sidelines, or the trenches? The profound lesson is in doing.” Thank you from my heart for being an incredible role model. For moving from grief to healing, to rebirth, for the impressive ways you coach people to explore their own Kilimanjaro, by inspiring them to love themselves, conquer their fears, and transform their lives, and for sharing your remarkable insights with our audience.

Make sure to follow us and like us on social, @IreneSWeinberg on Instagram, Facebook, and wherever else you find your social media, and wherever you go. As I like to say, to be continued, many blessings, and bye for now. From my heart, truly, thank you, Nancy.

Thank you. This has been beautiful.

Guest Links:

• Get your copy of Nancy’s book: Bigger Better Braver: Conquer Your Fears, Embrace Your Courage, and Transform Your Life
• Visit Nancy’s Website
• Nancy Pickard’s New Group Coaching: The New Relationship Blueprint
• Sign up for Nancy Pickard’s course: Bigger Better Braver Career Strategies and Tools for Achieving Your Greatest Potential
• Follow Nancy Pickard on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Clubhouse
• Nancy’s How Leaky Are Your Boundaries Quiz
• Read the FREE chapter of Bigger Better Braver
• Book a Free Discovery Call
• Debbie Ford Healing Your Heart
• Debbie Ford’s Spiritual Divorce referenced in this episode
• Nancy Levin’s Levin Life Coaching referenced in this episode
• Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy referenced in this episode
• GenconnectU referenced in this episode

Host Links:

• Irene Weinberg on Instagram
• Irene Weinberg on Facebook

About Nancy Pickard

Nancy Pickard is a Certified Integrative Coach through The Ford Institute for Transformational Training and the Levin Life Coach Academy. She is certified as a Breakthrough Shadow Coach, Empowered Parent Coach, Courage Coach, Healing Your Heart Coach, Leadership Coach, Holistic Lifestyle Coach, and Bigger Better Braver Coaching. She is the author of the international best seller, Bigger Better Braver: Conquer your Fears, Embrace your Courage, Transform your Life.

Prior to her work as a coach, she owned and operated a personal training gym called Tight Ends Inc. She knows what it takes to help people achieve big goals. She holds multiple personal training certifications and has focused on health and wellness for almost 20 years. Her path towards coaching was a natural evolution—she has a BS in Psychology and an MS in Education.

In 2017, she traveled alone in Thailand and Vietnam and undertook her biggest challenge, climbing Kilimanjaro at the age of 61. Coaching others to step out of fear and into bigger versions of themselves is her passion.

She is the mother of two grown sons and an active grandmother to three beautiful granddaughters and a one-year-old grandson. She is an avid hiker, biker, skier, and yogi. She is passionate about her four-year-old Australian Labradoodle, Bliss.

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