Can a heart shattered by twelve losses in twenty-two months find the strength to heal, rise, and light the way for others? Join us for a tender, powerful, and unforgettable conversation with Lisa Archer, a life and grief coach and author, as she bravely recounts losing 12 loved ones in just 22 months, including her parents and 24-year-old son-in-law. Discover how Lisa embraced holistic healing and inner transformation, ultimately finding the strength to transform her immense heartbreak into a life of purpose, even after a breast cancer diagnosis, and how she now guides others through their darkest moments, empowering them to be able to hold both grief and joy at once, fully, fiercely, and without apology.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE:
- How healing changed the trajectory of Lisa’s life.
- The profound truth that we can hold both grief and joy at once.
- The difference between a grief counselor and a life coach.
- The impact of a person’s childhood environment that can lead to compound grief.
- The importance of making a conscious choice to move toward healing and wholeness.
- How mediums can be a powerful tool for healing.
- Practical strategies that help a person find meaning after loss.
- Why it’s crucial to surround yourself with supportive people and protect your energy during healing.
SOME QUESTIONS IRENE ASKS LISA:
- Can you share a glimpse into your life before those heartbreaking years?
You endured the unimaginable. - Can you tell us about your beloved parents and Jack, the roles they played in your world, your memories that shine brightest, and briefly walk us through those devastating 22 months?
- What was the moment that shifted things for you? What inspired you to survive mentally, emotionally, and spiritually by making a choice to heal?
- You used a therapist and you also hired a life coach. How did each help you to do the work to heal?
- Did you also communicate with your deceased loved ones through mediums?
What inspired you to help others to create a life of passion and purpose around their pain? - How did the tools you implemented through all your losses help you to support your family during your breast cancer diagnosis?
- How do you holistically help people uncover their “knowing,” so they can move forward with clarity, courage, and intention?
🎁 Lisa is Gifting a FREE 60-Minute Coaching Session! 🎁
Yes, you read that right — one lucky person will receive a complimentary 1:1 session with Lisa 💫
Here’s how to enter:
1️⃣ Email her at 📧 lisa@holisticlifecoaching.org.uk
2️⃣ Share why you’d love a coaching session — and why now is the perfect time 🌱🕰️
✨ Lisa will personally choose the winner after the episode launches! ✨
Don’t miss this beautiful chance to gain clarity, healing, and support 💖🌟
GRIEF AND REBIRTH LINKS
✨ Irene’s new anthology book, Good to the Last Drop! Embracing Your Life’s Third Chapter, is now available on Amazon.
✨ Get the audiobook version of Irene’s book, They Serve Bagels in Heaven for FREE when you sign up for Audible’s FREE 30-day trial using her link: https://amzn.to/4dG4l4w
✨ For a curated collection of Irene’s favorite books, music, healing events, and self-care essentials, head over to kit.co/GriefandRebirth.
✨ Find your next source of healing and inspiration at the Grief and Rebirth Bookshop.
Listen to all episodes of the Grief and Rebirth Podcast HERE:
● Spotify
● Grief and Rebirth Podcast Page
Find Irene on social media:
● X
● TikTok
✨ Get your copy of Irene’s book: They Serve Bagels in Heaven: One Couple’s Story of Love, Eternity, and the Cosmic Importance of Everyday Life
✨ Sign up for the Grief and Rebirth newsletter to stay up-to-date on forthcoming episodes, events, healing tools, and announcements.
Grief and Rebirth LLC is an affiliate, and we may earn a commission from purchases made through recommendations of products and services mentioned on the website, email, and social media channels including Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. This commission helps to support the podcast and allows us to continue providing valuable information and resources to our audience. We only recommend products and services that we have personally used or thoroughly researched and believe will be helpful to our community. It will never cost you more to use our affiliate links and sometimes it will even save you money. Thank you for your ongoing support.
—
Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
How Do You Survive Losing 12 Loved Ones?
I hope this message finds each of you very well. I could not be more delighted to have the pleasure of interviewing the extraordinary Lisa Archer, who has walked through immense sorrow and emerged with profound purpose. Lisa is a certified and accredited life coach, grief coach, grief educator, international bestselling author, inspirational speaker, podcast host, breast cancer survivor, and the radiant heart behind Holistic Life Coaching with Lisa Marie. She lives in the UK, where she is the proud mom of two adult daughters, Bree and Alexa, and wife to her beloved husband, Darren.
After suffering the loss of 12 cherished loved ones in over 22 months, including her niece, both parents, and her 24-year-old son-in-law, Lisa faced unimaginable heartbreak. Instead of being consumed by grief, she chose a different path, one of holistic healing, inner transformation, and a deep calling to guide others through their darkest moments.
I’m looking forward to discussing with Lisa the ways her journey from heartbreak to healing shaped a life of passion and purpose for her, how she now empowers others to find meaning after profound loss, the strength she showed while supporting her family during her breast cancer diagnosis, and the profound truth that we can hold both grief and joy at once fully, fiercely, and without apology. This interview is a poignant reminder that healing is possible and purpose can rise from pain. Lisa’s story will not only move you, it may very well transform the way you see healing, purpose, and the power of the human spirit.
Lisa, a warm, heartfelt welcome to the show.
Thank you. Thanks so much for having me.
Before the Storm: A Glimpse into Life’s Joys
It’s my pleasure. A shout-out to Kat Baillie, who introduced us. I have many interviews with Kat. We’ve done a lot together, and she’s wonderful. She’s a marvelous resource for people, too. It was kind of her to think of us and put us together. You have the most amazing story. I was so touched as I was trying to create this interview. Let’s start. I know between 2018 and 2019, you endured the unimaginable. You lost 12 loved ones in 22 months, including both of your parents, your niece, and your 24-year-old son-in-law, Jack. Can you share a glimpse into your life before those heartbreaking years?
You can tell I’m not from the UK. I’m from Seattle, but I moved to the UK many years ago with my now ex-husband and my two daughters. Growing up, I had only lost my grandma, my aunt, but I was young. I had not faced loss. Now, I’m 5,000 miles away. My parents aren’t getting any younger. It’s that thing that is in the back of your mind that, at some point, you’re going to get the call.
My life wasn’t riddled with loss and grief. I had a wonderful growing-up years. My brother and I say we won the parent lottery. We did. They were amazing human beings. Life was ticking along. I was working in corporate, and I was raising my children. My girls grew up, moved out of the house, and then 2018 hit and changed the trajectory of my life completely.
Facing the Unimaginable: Navigating Profound Loss
Unbelievable. Do you want to tell us about your beloved parents and Jack, the roles they played in your world, your memories with them, and then briefly walk us through the unimaginable, devastating 22 months that you went through?
My parents were amazing individuals. My dad was Santa Claus growing up. He had a real heart for single moms because his mother was left with five children, so he grew up extremely poor. He had a real heart for single moms. He would cut down one Christmas tree for us and then six others, and we would deliver them. This is what I saw. My parents were wrapping gifts for the single moms in the community. We would put the bag on the door, ring the doorbell, and leave. Nobody knew who was doing that. It was important for my dad that nobody knew or that they didn’t know that. It was his way of serving the community.
When he started getting older and grayer, he morphed into Santa. He used to put on the suit, and he would be Santa Claus to the foster kids in foster homes, and anybody who would have him. My best friend has a company, and she would always have Larry as Santa. My mom, Mrs. Claus. Everybody said my mom was like Mary Poppins. She was probably the most positive person, almost so positive that you think there’s no possible way that this human being is for real. As you are with her forever, I was raised by her, I was like, “Something is not right. She’s just not normal.” She is so positive, so encouraging, and so uplifting. These are the parents. It wasn’t perfect, of course.
No, but what a blessing that you had. I had a childhood filled with trauma and dysfunction, and you were so blessed.
Yeah, so fortunate. Therefore, I know that. I think that having that childhood and understanding how to deal with things in a fairly healthy way, they were older, and you don’t tell anybody your problems, which is a bit different for me. In that sense, I feel like it gave me a great foundation for when it all hit the fan, so that I was able to process through stuff.
In a way, it did, because there’s something called complex grief. In my particular case, when my husband died next to me in the accident, I reacted more strongly than I might have because I had been abandoned by my family. It felt like an abandonment. You didn’t have any of that feeling.
No. I went through the grief certification program with David Kessler, and he talks about that. He talks about the home environment that you were raised in and how that can play out in grief, trauma, and healing. I know how fortunate I was, and not everybody has that.
That’s true. Do you want to tell us a little bit about Jack? How tragic that is.
Jack was dating my daughter Alexa when they were sixteen in high school. It was like, “I’m sure it’ll fizzle out at some point.” As the years went on, they were perfect for each other. I knew that they would be together forever. When I received the call, it was the most devastating.
Part of the healing process is the community. Share on X
Did he have a heart attack?
He had a fall. I got a call in the middle of the night, and it was two months after my mom passed. In the middle of the night, I get a call, and it’s never good. He had had a fall in front of my daughter, his workmates. It was devastating. They live two hours away from us. In the middle of the night, we had to get to her as soon as possible. She had never dated anybody else. Jack was it. He was funny in so many ways. One in particular, when you’re eighteen in this country, you can drink legally. I knew they were drinking before that. Legally, let’s take them to the pub. We go to the local pub, and I’m like, “Jack, what do you want?”
He is like, “I’ll have a Coke.” I was like, “What?” He’s like, “Just a Coke.” I thought, “That’s weird.” I get the Coke, we sit down, and he pulls out a flask and fills it with his own whiskey and says, “It’s so expensive.” I was like, “You weren’t paying for it, Jack. I was buying this for you.” He is like, “It’s too expensive. They charge you a fortune.” I had two daughters. I never had a son, and Jack was the closest to a son. He was a part of our family.
What a loss. I take it that your daughter is okay now.
Yeah. The trauma and devastation and her life changed right before her eyes. In a split second, her whole world changed. She didn’t need to lose any weight, but she lost so much weight. She was so thin. It has taken a long time. She’s still single. She’s going on dates, and she has had short relationships. This is 2019, and here we are, 2025, and she has not found somebody. Jack set the bar high, and I’m so grateful to him for showing her how she needs to be treated and what she deserves. She is not going to settle. Yes, she is doing so well. She is so close to Jack’s parents. She’s like their daughter.
Has she communicated with him on the other side?
She has not.
That could be very helpful to her.
She is not a suspect, but she is more cynical about that.
Share with her all the things you’re doing.
Exactly. I’ve got loads of stories. I think part of her healing process was her community. All the friends that they had from high school are still friends. His parents, his brother, me, her dad, and her sister all coming together has been a huge part of her healing journey.
Rising from the Ashes: Choosing Survival and Transformation
That’s good to hear. You have this unbelievable grief. Your parents, Jack, and all these other members of your family. It sounds like you’re struggling. You’re in the center of this family. Not only are you grieving, but you’ve got this collective grief all around you. Everyone else is grieving. I think they call this compound grief, which can be very paralyzing. What inspired you to survive mentally, emotionally, and spiritually by making a choice that a lot of people don’t make? What was that process like for you?
You are right. When we lose a loved one, we are carrying our own grief, and we’re carrying all the grief of everybody else, especially Mama Bear. You are carrying the grief of your family. It’s not just your grief. When I was in the States, I worked in pregnancy loss and grief. I knew enough to know how grief can linger in the body. I was pro-therapy.
My first port of call was to find a bereavement counselor. She was wonderful, but I knew that I couldn’t remain in a ball in a corner forever because I have a daughter who is grieving this devastating loss, and another daughter who has lost her brother-in-law, whom she loved. Before my mom passed away, my dad passed away first, and I went to Seattle to care for him because he had brain cancer. I was carrying the grief of my mom as she was watching her husband pass away.
My mom came to visit me after we buried my dad a couple of months later. We traveled around the UK. She’s been here numerous times. She then went back home, gave her a hug at Manchester Airport. I didn’t know that would be the last time I would see her or hug her. She passed away peacefully in her sleep. Two months after her, we lost Jack.
I knew that if I was going to be able to help anybody, I needed to make a decision, and I needed to make a choice that I was going to battle this, that I was going to fight. There was a time in my counseling when she was like, “Lisa, sometimes it’s okay to step aside.” I thought I had to let it wash all over me. I have to sit in this grief. I have to fight through it and work through it.
She’s like, “Sometimes it’s okay to put it on the shelf for a minute.” It’s too much. I remember saying to her, “I don’t want to go crazy.” She was like, “What does that mean?” I said, “For me, that’s like being in a corner, never being able to leave the house, never being able to function again. I can’t. I feel like I don’t want that.”
What is also coming to me about you is that a lot of people would get into the drama, “Woe is me,” and pull a lot of attention to themselves, “I’m never going to be the same.” They could carry the drama of their story forever. In and out, whatever they do, “This is what happened to me. Give me a pass for whatever.” You didn’t do that. You said, “The heck with this drama thing. I’m going to go heal. I’m going to take care of myself.”
I hope that others will have viewed it that way as well. The reality of being in a ball in a corner was for sure happening. Sometimes it was too exhausting even to brush your teeth. It was so difficult. It’s not like, “I’ll just get some therapy and then I’ll do a few things.” I threw everything at this grief.
I can so relate. You used a therapist, and you also hired a life coach.
I did.
Dual Paths to Healing: Therapy and Coaching
What’s the difference, so that our audience can understand? I had a life transition coach, and I also used therapy in different modalities. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. Each one has something very special to give you. Do you want to tell everyone why both? Why wasn’t just your therapist enough? What happened with the life coach, also?
My first port of call was a bereavement counselor because I was pro-therapy. I was like, “I guess that’s what you do.” She was lovely and she was wonderful and I was with her for a year and a half. Towards the end of that process, where I was starting to feel like, “This is my reality, but now what do I do with this reality?” Honestly, I was working as a team assistant. COVID had hit. I had separated from my husband of 28 years. That’s a whole other thing.
That’s another grief.
What happens is when you lose people and you realize this life is short and fragile, it shines a light on areas of your life where you’re unhappy. I sit him down, “You are unhappy, I’m unhappy. I’ve got to go.” He said, “Yeah, I agree.” It was such an amicable divorce. We’re so friendly, and it’s just what happened. It is what it is. During the therapy, I started working through the unhappiness. She also gave me space for the grief. I was typing away at work, and I heard, “Lisa, you need to be a life coach.”
Was it a voice or a thought?
It was a thought because I didn’t hear an audible voice. I was like, “What is a life coach?” I don’t know what a life coach is. I had to google it, and I was like, “I do this stuff. People tend to come to me. Alright, I’ll do a bit of research.” I thought that if I’m going to be a life coach, I’d better hire one. That’s what happened. I got to a place in my therapy where I was like, “Yeah, but now what? I can’t just sit and talk anymore about all this. I need to get doing.” She knew that I was a doer. I was an action taker. I hired a life coach, and then we went down the path of what it means to be a life coach, and then roadblocks, mindset shifts, and things that I was able to take action on. I get certified and accredited and go through all that.
Bridging Worlds: Exploring the Power of Mediums
I had the same experience. I got this thought, and this whole thing happened, but it was so not my thought. I knew it was a heavenly directive, and I was being guided. Now, you are a life coach, and you were in therapy. There’s another modality that helped you to heal. Let’s talk about your experience with mediums. If your daughter doesn’t buy it yet, this was not something that was in your frame of reference. What was that process like?
As I grew up, my parents were involved in the church. A medium is the devil. I didn’t grow up with any of this witchcraft, voodoo stuff. That was the way it was portrayed to me growing up. However, there were signs and things that were happening after my dad passed. After my dad died, I was sleeping in my parents’ spare room. We hadn’t had the funeral yet. My dad was into unplugging toasters and stuff because he saw something on the news once that things catch on fire. It was so annoying. You go make toast, it was always unplugged. It was so annoying. I’m like, “Nothing is going to catch on fire.”
I had my phone charging by my head in the room, and it was an extension lead. It was plugged into that, plugged into my phone. There were three different things. I woke up, and it was unplugged from the wall. The phone was unplugged from the extension lead and the charger. I was like, “Did I do that in the middle of the night?” I asked my mom, and she’s like, “No, I didn’t do it.” I thought, “That had to be my dad going, ‘Lisa, everything’s going to catch on fire.’”
“I’m here.”
It was the first time, because it was the first real loss that I had had, where I was like, “What is this?” I came back to the UK, and one of my friends said, “Lisa, I know this medium. He was local and I trust him.” I was like, “Okay. I’m open because of some of the things I saw. Something is there, something is here.” I was curious enough, and it was 30 minutes, and I could not put my jaw on the table. I was in shock.
There was no way this man would ever know anything about my dad. He wouldn’t know. He was specific about things that nobody would know. That was my first introduction, and I was blown away. It was such a healing thing for me. I was like, “This is probably the most powerful healing tool that I’ve ever had,” because it made me understand that my dad is here. He’s there. He is seeing things. He’s with me, not physically, but my dad is here. After, we lost my mom a few months later, and then Jack.
You had a few other family members along the way, too.
My niece on my ex-husband’s side of the family died of a hereditary illness, and then friends, friends’ children. One of my friends lost their son on my dad’s birthday. He was twenty years old and the only child. He died in a tragic car accident. When Zach passed, they reached out to Kat Baillie, whom they found. I heard the recording and I was like, “Who is this woman?” Now, I can trust my friends again who have used her. From there, I had several sessions with Kat. I refer everybody I know to Kat. It’s because of the evidential mediumship. There’s no way I can deny it.
When you lose people and you realize life is short and fragile, it shines a light on areas of your life where you're unhappy. Share on X
From Pain to Passion: Crafting a Life of Purpose
It saved my life, too. It’s a two-pronged approach because it takes away the fear of death. If you know that you’re going to go on and you know you’re going to see these people or be with these people again, what are you doing to take care of yourself until you get there? I think it changes the way you process your world, the way you look at death and all that.
You worked with a life transition coach, a therapist, and you worked with mediums. What did all this healing do for you that gets you to decide, “I’m going to create a life of passion or purpose around this?” You decide to become a holistic life coach because you have used all these modalities. How did you combine strategies that you learned to help others find meaning after loss? How did all of this process to where you are now?
I went down the life coaching route. I went through my certification. You have to niche. What is the thing that you are going to be niching in as a coach? For me, action-taking, mindset shifts, kicking out roadblocks, living this life is easy. However, there was this nagging thing in the back of my mind, “Grief.” I was like, “I don’t think I’m going to do that one. Am I ready?”
“Can I handle it? It’s intense.”
“Am I healed enough to serve others?” It was a calling. The answer was yes. It was a calling. For me, being a life coach and a grief coach, when you have life and loss like a married couple, it works so well together that I didn’t think it would. Now, as I’ve been doing it, I’m like, “This is super powerful.” I then went through the grief certification program to get a bit more under my belt as far as my certification and knowledge. My lived experience is one that nobody can take away. The calling was that I grew up with parents who were of service to others. It feels like it’s in my DNA. I’ve always been that way, and I know it’s because of them. Now it’s like, why would it be any different in this healing modality, these things that I’ve used?
Why wouldn’t I show people and tell people some of the things that I have done to create a life of passion and purpose? Does it bring them back? No, not at all, but you get to this place of healing, and then you say, “Now what? Now what am I going to do with this?” For me, there are so many hurting people. Not just loss of loved ones through death, but divorce, parental alienation, empty nesting, any type of loss. I talk all about loss of identity. There are so many losses and health, independence, and all of those things. You can’t escape loss in life.
I think you’re doing a beautiful thing. Can you give us an example? Tell us how you did it. Someone who came to you, and now that you’re doing this yourself and incorporating the things that helped you and adding a few more, how did you help this person? What happened? Give us a good story.
It’s interesting because some people will come to me for life coaching, and then it evolves organically into grief coaching because some of the reasons they’re stuck are because of grief, but it can also go the other way. They come from grief and loss, and it organically then turns into life coaching. Now what? This gal, in particular, I could think of a client, there are several, but she came to me. I met her two years prior. She knew what I did, but she wasn’t ready. Of course, she wasn’t ready. She had lost her mom, who was a huge part of her life. Two years later, she says, “I’m ready. It’s impacting. I’ve got a toddler, and I’m married. It’s impacting all aspects.” She owns a business. It’s impacting all aspects of her life.
Honestly, I gave her space, and I validated all the losses that she had experienced. When I said to her, “That’s a lot,” you could almost see, “You’re right. I have been through a lot of loss.” Giving her the space, validating, and witnessing her grief was huge. We did some tools. We did some things, and one of the things that she did, she did on her own, but I held the space for her. She’s like, “I need to have a conversation with my mom, don’t I?” I said, “It sounds like you do.” Lots of anger towards, “How could she leave me. I had an infant. She was supposed to be there with me.”
She had a picture of her mom in the kitchen, and it was in the corner. She’s like, “I look at it and I can’t stare. I can’t look directly at it. I’m going to have a conversation with my mom.” I said, “Let me know. I’m here. In between sessions, come back to me.” This isn’t like, “I’ll see you in two weeks.” She tells me, “I had it out with my mom. I told her everything I was feeling. All my anger, getting it all out.”
She had an appointment with a medium to speak to her mother.
No, just that photo. She took that photo and went off on her mom and cried. Of course, that anger starts to release, and then it’s sadness, “I miss you.” What she ended up doing after that was moving her mom’s photo into the living room. “Mom is hanging out with us now in the living room.” For her, it was probably one of the most powerful parts of our sessions. She had ten sessions, and that was about halfway through. That released something in her. She shifted. It was powerful to watch. I could physically see the difference in her. It was so powerful. That’s just one of the many. That was so powerful.
Beyond Loss: Finding Strength in the Face of Breast Cancer
What impacts me about all of that is that the greatest beneficiary is her little girl, who will not inherit the pain passed down because her mom stopped the legacy. Her mom healed it. She’s right. The marriage and the whole thing. Now this fascinated me, Lisa. If you didn’t have enough to contend with, you also went through breast cancer. You had a mastectomy and the other healthy side removed, and here you became the strong one for your family and helped your husband and daughters through that. What was that like? Lisa, what else did you need?
What’s next? Don’t ask. That was my motto. I’m like, “Don’t ask.”
“Another thing?”
When I turned 50, in this country, you’re supposed to get a letter from the GP for a mammogram. I never did. It was COVID. I separated from my husband and moved to a different area, and I called the doctor. I haven’t gotten my letter yet. “It’ll happen.” I moved again. I need a mammogram. Now I’m 53, and there was something in me. I knew I needed this. The lady said, “We don’t have a truck in your neighborhood,” one of those mobile units. I was like, “I’ll drive. I’m American. I’ll drive to wherever.”
If you have a stressful job, you hate your life, and you're in a toxic relationship, it doesn't matter how much kale you eat. Share on X
She said, “Loads of women don’t get their first mammogram until they’re in their 50s and it’s fine.” She told me it was going to be another year. Two months later, I got a letter in the post saying, “Your mammogram is scheduled for this time.” I know for a fact I was being looked after because they found something. I went back.
You had work to do. They’ve got to keep you going, girl.
When I got that letter to go back, I knew it was something. Everybody was like, “Lisa, it’s okay. I’m sure it’s nothing.” I knew it wasn’t nothing. I had a lot of precancerous cells. There’s no lump, nothing, so you wouldn’t know. I then had my biopsies, and they came back. They said to me, “If it were six months down the road, this would be a very different result.” I knew that I was being taken care of.
I had to have a mastectomy because of the amount of precancerous cells, but I knew it hadn’t spread. I knew it wasn’t in my lymph nodes. I said, “What do I have to do to get the other thing off? They said, “Don’t be too harsh. It’s fine. You can have reconstruction.” I’m like, No, I want to live flat and free.” I knew. My husband goes, “You’re not going to change your mind.” Ninety days later, I had the healthy side removed. Nothing spread.
Look at all the people you’re helping.
I knew. When that happened, because I was such resolute, I was able to say to my family, “It’s fine. I’m good. I’m golden.” All the tools I used and those modalities I used when I faced all those losses, I just pulled those out of my tool belt.
They didn’t need to go to a life coach because they had you.
That’s what my girls all say. They’re like, “We don’t need to hire a life coach because you’ve been our life coach.”
That’s right. They had their mom.
I was like, “No, I’m not done here yet.”
Now we get to the part where everyone wants to have a session with you. Let’s talk about what you do. I know you have life coaching and mentoring services. If someone comes to you, what kinds of issues are people usually struggling with when they come to see you? Do you offer these life coaching and mentoring services online? How does that work?
Yes, they are online, which is great because I have clients from around the world. Thank goodness for Zoom. Yes, it is online, and people book online. Many of the people who come to me for life coaching are feeling a sense of being stuck. They’re a little directionless. Maybe they’re at a crossroads in their life, and they’re not sure which way to go. They don’t know who they are, what makes them tick.
Society tells them they have to buy a house, have children, get married, have this job, and have this career. They’re like, “I am unhappy and unfulfilled, and I’ve done all the things they told me to do, but I don’t want that anymore. I need to figure out what I want.” A lot of the people who come to me are lacking clarity and confidence. We work through those things. I’ve got the tools on how to dive into who they are at the core, authentically. What do they want out of this short and fragile life?
I would take a bet that when you’re helping them with a lack of clarity, looking for career changes, promotions, and managing their stress, grief comes into it. In some way, unresolved trauma and grief are holding them back.
That is why these go hand in hand, because I have the experience and expertise in grief. As we start to dig through those things that are holding them back or they’re questioning, we can start working through that organically. I don’t push people where they don’t want to go, but if they want change, healing, and health, then this is what we do as a holistic approach, physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental. You can eat all the kale in the world, but if you have a stressful job, you hate your life, and you’re in a toxic relationship, it doesn’t matter how much kale you eat.
You’re killing yourself anyway.
We talk about stress, stress management, anxiety, all of those things. As I said before, those who come to me with grief are usually further down the road. They might’ve gotten therapy like I did, and it’s been 2 years, 9 years, and they’re still stuck in the suffering. They haven’t put any feet on living the life and taking the steps that they need to take.
In a way, you’re a wonderful role model when they work with you because you’ve been through it and you’ve done it. You give them hope that they can get through it and they can do it, too.
That is one of the biggest things I hear. “She did it. Maybe she can help me.” You’re right, I always point to the future of hope. With coaching, it’s the here and now. Yes, we look a bit into the past. You have to. Where do you want to go? It’s always offering hope. That is my biggest thing that I always end every session with.
You also have a program called Inspired Action: Design a Life You Love. Tell us all about that, speaking of creating a life you love.
It is a four-week online program. It’s limited to about six. It’s usually women who join. It’s not only for women, but it’s mostly women who love community. We like community, and we like supporting each other. We talk about values. What are your core values? We talk of vision, roadblocks, like limiting beliefs. What is keeping you stuck? What’s that negative self-talk? We’re taking inspired action, tapping into that deep knowing, that gut, that intuition.
Until they meet you, they probably don’t even know that they have it.
Exactly. That can be a challenge because first they need to go, “That sounds great. I’m not living the life I love. I don’t know how to get there.” Instead of doing one-to-one coaching, maybe that’s not for them right now, but they could do a four-week, once-a-week course. If they want to dive deeper, we can always do coaching after.
You also have a Grief to Grace masterclass?
Yes. I used to do it live, and then now I’ve prerecorded it so that people can just get it. What I talk about is I share a bit of my story, but that’s a very short bit. More importantly, we talk about the different types of loss. What is grief? What are the different types of loss they might be experiencing? Do’s and don’ts on how to support a grieving loved one.
What not to do, what not to say, what to do, what to say? Real, practical tools on how to support a grieving loved one. Grounding techniques. When you are supporting a griever or you are a griever, there are so many different breathwork, meditation, and getting out into nature, those are all great. I give loads more different grounding techniques to help the healing process.
Lisa, I know that you have a special offer for members of our audience. Can you tell everyone about that? Someone may be a very lucky audience member. Tell them what your offer is.
It’s so much fun. I love giving away stuff, so I have to hold back sometimes, but I love it. What I ask people to do is that if they are interested in having an hour of free coaching with me, email me and tell me why they would like to have a session. What are they struggling with, and what do they feel comfortable sharing? I will then randomly pick somebody to have a free coaching session with and with tools. They’ll walk away with something to do.
Embracing Grief and Joy: Why Healing Matters
That’s wonderful. For the question that I ask everyone, now that you’ve learned to embrace both grief and joy without apology, why should people heal? Why is it important to heal, Lisa? For everyone who is suffering and you’re tuning in to this episode, “Maybe I should do this. Do I buy the sweater or do I go for a therapy session?” Why is it important for us to heal?
At the very core, loss and grief change you. You are already changed. It’s already there. You are not meant to be miserable. We are not meant to live a life of misery and suffering, and we need to take steps to heal that there is hope in that healing, that you can do it. Without doing it, this life of misery and darkness does not have to be that way and way. That is the thing that I see a light switch on for those who are suffering. Grieving and suffering are two different things. You don’t need to be suffering for the rest of your life.
Suffering is an option. What is the famous Lisa Archer tip for finding joy in life?
I love taking action to create a life of passion and purpose. One of the things that I didn’t say that I would say is make sure you’re surrounding yourself with loving, healthy, supportive people. Get rid of the toxic energy-draining vampires. You need to protect your energy at all costs. That is what I did, and that was the first thing I did, and it was the best thing I ever did.
It’s a challenge and it’s hard, but once you do it, the relief is marvelous. It’s wonderful. I’ve experienced that too, Lisa. Your journey is a testament to the resilience of the soul. The courage it takes to rebuild a life when the pieces feel too shattered to hold. Through unthinkable loss, you found light. Through pain, you discovered purpose. In so doing, you are now lighting the path for others.
Your story reminds all of us that healing is not about erasing grief. It’s about learning to carry it alongside joy. It inspires us to believe that even in our darkest chapters, there is hope for something beautiful ahead. Thank you from my heart, Lisa, for this tender, powerful, and unforgettable interview. Warmest blessings.
Thank you.
Guest’s Links:
- Check out Lisa Archer’s website on Holistic Life Coaching with Lisa Marie
- Connect with Lisa Archer on Instagram and Facebook
- Lisa Archer’s Linktree
- Lisa Archer’s Email
Other Links:
- Grief and Rebirth Episode with Kat Baillie
About Lisa Archer
Lisa Archer is the proud mother of two adult daughters, Bree and Alexa and wife to Darren and the proud owner of Holistic Life Coaching with Lisa Marie.
Lisa is an International Certified and Accredited Life Coach, Grief Coach, Certified Grief Educator, Inspirational Speaker, Podcast Host of the Because We Love – Finding meaning after loss podcast, an International Best-Selling Author, and Breast Cancer Survivor.
After losing twelve loved ones through death in twenty-two-months, including her niece, her parents, and her twenty-four-year-old son-in-law, Lisa knew if she was going to survive both physically and mentally, she needed help! Seeking different modalities, Lisa was able to create a life of purpose and passion around her pain. Now she helps others do the same.
