Grief and Rebirth: Finding the Joy in Life Podcast | Debra Martin | Cancer

 

Debra Martin is a World-Renowned Intuitive Healer, an International Research Lab Certified Medium, a Spiritual Coach, a survivor of cancer, the author of six books, and a motivational speaker who has been on many radio networks such as Coast to Coast with George Noory, Hay House Radio, plus she will also soon be featured in two Gaia shows. She has survived three Near Death Experiences, and during her third NDE, Debra had an out of body experience, a conversation with God, her mediumship abilities were heightened, and she was given the gift of healing. Her inspiring, heart opening new book titled “Doctors, Faith & Courage,” is about her journey through cancer, the important lessons she learned, the tools she was given by Spirit, how cancer made her an even better healer, and much more. This is an unforgettable and very touching interview!

 

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT THINGS LIKE:

  • The vision Debra received before she found out that she had cancer.
  • How Debra turned her fear into faith.
  • The army Debra built around her with both people here on Earth and on the Other Side.
  • Important lessons Debra learned from Spirit during her illness. 
  • How cancer was an opportunity disguised for Debra. 
  • The ways cancer made Debra an even better healer. 
  • How Debra’s journey with cancer brought her a greater appreciation for her body, being human, and for life itself. 

 

SOME QUESTIONS IRENE ASKS DEBRA:

  • How did you resolve your worry about what others would think about a healer going to doctors for treatments for cancer?
  • What answer did you receive when you asked God if you could continue to do healings for others while you were going through cancer treatments? 
  • What are some of the important lessons and tools you learned from Spirit that can help others struggling with a serious illness?
  • What is your important tip about being willing to be open and embrace not what is happening to you but rather what is being offered for you? 

Watch the episode here

 

Listen to the podcast here

 

 

Debra Martin: Debra called cancer “the beast.” How did she find beauty in “the beast?”

 

I could not be more delighted and grateful to have the pleasure of once again interviewing world-renowned intuitive healer Debra Martin. She is an international research lab-certified medium, a spiritual coach, a survivor of cancer, the author of six books, and a motivational speaker who has been on many radio networks, such as Coast to Coast with George Noory and Hay House Radio. She will soon be featured on two Gaia special shows.

She has survived three near-death experiences. During her third NDE, she had an out-of-body experience and a conversation with God. Debra’s mediumship abilities were heightened as she was given the gift of healing. The many people from around the world who have joined her global distance group healing sessions have experienced profound healing. Thanks to Debra’s remarkable healing gifts.

We will be discussing Debra’s inspiring, heart-opening new book titled Doctors, Faith & Courage. It’s about her journey through cancer, the important lessons she learned, the tools she was given by spirit, how cancer made her an even better healer, and much more for what is surely going to be an unforgettable and touching interview with a beautiful person, and I know for a fact from the inside out. Debra, a loving welcome back. It’s great to have you back again.

I’m honored. As you’re talking, I’m getting these chills constantly and goosebumps like, “It was nice of you.” What a beautiful introduction. Thank you so much.

I like to let people know who they’re reading to. It’s not like I picked you up off the street. Let’s start because your book is wonderful. It’s amazing how a healer moved through the need for healing in a situation in her life. It’s an incredible story. You received a vision before you even found out that you had cancer. Tell us how you learned that you had cancer, and also describe the type of cancer you had. What space of time did all this happen?

 

Grief and Rebirth: Finding the Joy in Life Podcast | Debra Martin | Cancer

 

I had been dealing with a hemorrhoid. I had gone in to see the doctor. She’s like, “We’re going to leave that alone.” We left it alone, but I still was having a lot of irritation. Several months later, I woke up to a voice that was loud and said, “You need to get this removed now.” It was loud, clear, and stern that I knew in my heart that this was the truth. We might, in our mind, push that aside. When it’s that strong, you don’t push that aside. It shakes you to your core.

I went back to see that doctor. When I went back and saw the doctor, she said, “What are you here for?” I said, “I’m here for this hemorrhoid.” She said, “I told you we’re not going to do anything about this.” I said, “I’m here because I’m requesting that you take this out.” She looked at it. She comes to the front of the table because you’re bent over.

She looks at me like this and says, “I’m telling you, this is going to be painful either way. We should not take this out.” I’ve got spirit God telling me what I need to do. I need to be an advocate for my own body because we know our bodies more than our doctors. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, “I intuitively know that this needs to come out. It needs to come out now.”

We know our bodies more than our doctors do. Click To Tweet

I’m also struggling with the medical establishment because they don’t understand psychic messages or any of that. Everything is scientific.

She looked at me like I was crazy. She was not kind. She’s like, “Get the scissors.” I’m thinking, “She’s making it a scary situation.” She took it out, and I said, “Can I see it?” I wanted to see it. It looked like a lima bean that was dead. She goes, “I wonder if we should send this in for a biopsy.” I go, “We should.” She’s like, “Yeah, we should.”

One afternoon, I was sitting on the couch talking to my daughter on FaceTime. My other daughter was sitting next to me. We had so much joy. We were laughing and filled with love. I hated the end of the conversation, but I had to go to a hair appointment. I’m like, “You guys continue to have fun.” I proceeded to get into my car. I was driving, and my phone rang. I saw it was my doctor.

I answered the call. She says, “Debra, I’ve been trying to call you several times during the day.” I was like, “I had done a healing in the morning. My phone was off.” She says, “Where are you?” I said, “I’m driving.” She’s like, “Can you go home?” I said, “No, I can’t go home, but I can pull over.” I pulled over. At that moment, I felt like, “This might not be good news.” You’re hearing that. She goes, “Debra, I’m sorry. Your biopsy came back cancerous.” I’m hearing the word, “You have cancer.” For anybody who’s heard that, everything stops. What it was was anal cancer.

That’s even scarier.

I’m going to go back a little bit because I had this lump in my lymph node. I had her address it. I’m like, “Should I be worried about this?” She goes, “No.” I said, “I’m going to see my OB-GYN.” She goes, “That’s good.” That’s number one for a rectal doctor to push on this and know what’s going on.

Did you end up switching doctors?

I had to switch doctors because you need to trust. If you don’t have the trust in the people who are working for you, you can’t walk hand in hand with them. I hope she received her lesson. It was not my duty to continue to walk with her.

It felt like you were struggling with her ego.

In the car, she was like, “I wasn’t going to send that for biopsy. I wasn’t going to take that out.” She was talking out loud. I could feel that she had all this guilt. When I met her in the office, things changed. She was following all the protocols. She goes, “You’re going to see your radiation doctor and chemo doctor.” I’m like, “This is so much to handle.”

I did go home for a brief minute. When I walked into my room with my daughters, they were like, “Did you get in a car accident? What’s wrong?” I couldn’t voice the word cancer. I couldn’t say it. That was a big lesson for me because I did say it to my daughters. If you can’t voice something because it’s hard, find a loved one who can voice it to others for you and find the ones that you want to share it with.

For me personally, I only wanted a few people to know. I didn’t want everyone to know. Some people got upset with that because they wanted to help you. They wanted to know, but I felt like I didn’t want the energy out there. “Did you hear Debra Martin has cancer?” I didn’t want that out there. I wanted to stay at a higher vibration, have God guide me through this, and not worry about what everyone else was saying.

I could not resonate more with what you said. You and I will talk about this later, but it’s important to choose the people on your wagon train and your army of people who are helping you and not open it up to the whole world because some people’s vibrations are not high enough to lift you through.

I’ve seen other people that have cancer that put it out there. They put it on their Facebook. What they need is to hear that feedback. I’m not saying what I did is right for everyone. I’m saying that this is why I chose to.

You changed doctors. You also have a new challenge because how does a healer with cancer reconcile going to doctors for treatments? You heal people all the time. Why not close your eyes, say a prayer, and poof? How did you reconcile that?

That was challenging. I did see my radiation doctor and my chemo doctor, but before I did, I did a lot of meditations and prayers. One of the things I said to God was, “What am I supposed to do? First of all, I heal cancer through other people. Should I heal through myself? What do I need from these doctors? How do I share as a healer that I got cancer? Should I hold this? Should I not share this?”

Through the journey, I did get those answers. The one answer was, “Debra, you use every tool in your toolbox.” That was huge for me. Think about it. God heals in many ways. We have medicine that God has created. Why not use it? We have doctors. You get into the right team of doctors where you feel they’re the right ones for you. You’ve built that team for you and trust. I prayed that God would open the doors to the right doctors. Watching how it was all unfolding and seeing you’re right. They went to school and studied. This is all here for me. This treatment is not against me. It’s for me.

God heals in so many ways. Click To Tweet

What happened when I went and saw my doctor is hilarious because God works in a humorous way, but let you understand. I walk in to meet my radiation doctor. I shake his hand. I’m like, “I need to know that this is the right doctor.” This doctor has so much compassion, but his first name is Steven, which is my son’s name. I go to my oncologist and meet her. I need a loving, caring person. I don’t need someone strict. This is how it is. I need someone to hold my hand so I can be vulnerable with them. Her name was my daughter’s name. I was like, “We’re one family.” I felt it. From that point on, we became a family.

You praised God and asked if you could continue to do healing while you were going through treatments. What was that like because here you are struggling? You’re getting radiation and medicine. All these things are happening within your body, but people are coming to you with some of the same situations that you have. How did you reconcile that?

I sent them to my doctors. I said, “This is a six-week treatment of every day. How are week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 going to look?” They gave me an outline where it was going to get difficult and intolerable. You have to remember you’re getting radiation in a sore area. How did I know that this was the right doctor? When he wasn’t there once, there was his partner. I was having a hard time. I was coming onto one of those weeks that was going to be fearful.

He started putting fear into me. He’s like, “It’s going to be painful and red.” What God told me to do is he said, “You don’t know that. He doesn’t know that.” I asked God to do his work. I didn’t have that pain that those doctors said. I didn’t have to have that pain like those doctors said. Yes, it was bad and not easy, but it could have been so much worse.

People are coming to you, and you’re going through with your sore tushy and the whole thing.

I did 1 or 2 healings a week. I cut them down. Through the first one I was going to do, God was going to show me what it was like. I can tell you when I was in that session. When you’re going through something like this with cancer, my spirituality seems to be heightened. I seem to be open and have almost no care in the world because, at this point, I don’t know what my reality and future are. I’m going to live in the now. I’m going to live in each moment. It freed me. I was open and heightened. I was floating out of my body speaking and never even felt my body at all during the session. It was almost a gift to me. As I was healing, God was healing me.

That’s how I wanted to ask you because you’re letting in all these healing vibes for someone else that had to be affecting you also.

I wasn’t feeling any of that. I was removed from it.

Did that help you? You had to be frightened at the same time with all that you were going through, yet you turned it into faith. The name of your book is Doctors, Fate & Courage. How did you turn your fear into faith? Most people, no matter what’s going on, are scared. What did you do?

At one point, you start asking all the what-ifs. What if I’m never going to see my grandchildren again? What if I’m never going to be going on vacation again? What if I’m never going to be able to see a sunrise again? What if this is going to be my last breath? What-ifs are always the negatives because you’re thinking about all the what-ifs.

I had to sit there and say, “How is this serving me?” I decided to say, “God, here’s all my what-ifs. I can’t hold them. If I give them to you, I know that you can be the driver in this vehicle. I trust you that no matter what, all will be well. If I stay here, I’m going to be well. If I transition, I’m going to be well.” Don’t even think of the rest. Think about how I’m going to walk through this. I decided to walk through it with grace, gratitude as my foundation, and seeing joy every day making goals. It’s like we should make goals every day.

I’m saying, “I trust that this has to be a plan of gods. I don’t know why yet. What is this giving me?” I did learn something from God along the way as I was healing. As I was starting to heal, we always said, “Fight that cancer. I’m going to fight it. We are going to get this.” That’s okay. That’s a term we all want to say. Let’s fight this. I chose not to fight the cancer. I chose to send love to the cancer.

If you think about it, when you are talking to God, God wants to embrace you with his love. That’s healing. When you have a sick child or someone sick, you hug and embrace them. You don’t yell at them. Don’t yell at your body. You’re frustrated. You feel frustrated because now you have limitations on things that you could do before.

At this moment, those frustrations and limitations, if you’re frustrated, you are resisting all that’s there for you. Instead, I started to talk to my cancer. What are you here for? What do you want me to learn from you? I send love to you. Body, you are magnificent. I have legs that you have supported me for so long. I have a beautiful heart. I started to send my body love. That helped the healing process for myself.

When we accept the fact that our body is our vehicle in this lifetime for our soul, you’re sending love to your vehicle. Eventually, our vehicles get tired. We’ve learned our lessons, and we return to the other side. We were saying a little before the interview started. When they pulled me out of the car, I got loving and kind to everyone. That means to me.

People need to give themselves permission to honor their selves, bodies, and emotions. If you are having a s**** day, have a s**** day. At the end of the day, embrace yourself through that s**** day. It’s okay. These emotions are real. I’m not saying that it was all beautiful. I had hard times when I walked into the doctor, and I was like, “I’m not doing well.” It was important to always voice your truth. Don’t hold it in.

I was like, “I don’t want you to visit me.” I knew that I was hurting that person because they wanted to see me, but I didn’t want them to visit me. I had to always voice my truth, even if I was going to disappoint another, even telling the doctor, and they’re like, “Debra, you’re doing well.” I was like, “No, I’m not.” They would say, “If you saw another patient that was where you are now, I’m telling you, you’re doing well.” He would be the one to raise my vibration. It’s important to surround yourself with those people who will listen, hear you, and bring joy and not drama, sadness, or negativity.

It's very important to surround yourself with people who will listen and bring joy instead of drama, sadness or negativity. Click To Tweet

The other thing you did that I read in the book was you changed the language around what you were going through. There was something you asked a nurse or somebody to refer to your cancer as curable. Tell us about that because that’s important. You were accepting and mind-setting yourself.

I remember going in for my fourth. That was a hard day because it made it real. It’s the one thing I didn’t want. They come in and they are documenting everything. She’s like, “You have anal cancer.” I said, “Can you change the language?” She goes, “What do you mean?” I said, “Could you say you have curable cancer?” She goes, “I love that.” I said, “You need to tell your patients that you have curable cancer. We’re going to make this through.” It’s important to your brain to feel it and you to voice it because if I sit here and go, “This cancer is not curable,” What’s my body saying?

You’re giving your body the message. We’re on the way out.

Stay as positive as you can. Change that language from negative to positive with any thought that you have.

The other thing is I want to ask you about all the tools in your toolbox. You had your doctors, energy work, wagon train, and army. Are there any other tools to share with everyone that you mustered up to help you through this?

Surround people with the right people. I have an army around me. I was given that name when I was under treatment for radiation. That was my God time. I was like, “God, it was scary going underneath the machine. You know what it’s doing to you.” Instead, I said, “This is going to be my God time. You made this machine for me. I’m going to brace this machine.”

During that time, it was like the second time I heard God say, “Build the army around you. I am your army. Your loved ones on the other side are your army. Your family and friends are your army.” When I say army for love, I believe that spirit is always ahead of you walking ahead. God knows what’s ahead of you so you don’t have to fear it. They’re always holding you up as you walk and they’ll never let you fall backward.

 

Grief and Rebirth: Finding the Joy in Life Podcast | Debra Martin | Cancer

 

It’s important to know you’re never alone. That’s a tool. Use the doctors that you trust. Don’t be afraid to say, “No, I need a different doctor. I’ll stick with this one.” Don’t be afraid to go to the doctor because you think something is wrong and you don’t want to know what it is. Don’t wait. I didn’t wait. I listened. Make goals for yourself. I made a calendar for myself for those six weeks. I would mark it off, and I’m like, “Week one, we’re done.” I was seeing the progress, but at every end of the week, I would clap for myself. You did it. Praise yourself and give yourself that pat on the back. Treat yourself with honor and respect.

Those are amazing lessons and tools that you learned from this. Give any other advice for others who are struggling with a serious illness.

We shouldn’t give power to the illness. Many people say, “I have Parkinson’s. It’s not curable.”

Tell us how you phrase that. That’s a great example.

We all do that because we know what that means. What did that do? That gave Parkinson’s the power and took my power away. I never want to give a title. Don’t own the title. The doctors may diagnose me with this, but I’m not going to own it. I’m going to keep my power over it. You could talk to it, ask what it’s here to teach you, and say, “I’m going to walk with you through grace.” Maybe I have it, but we can suppress it so it doesn’t come out.

I believe that mine wasn’t as bad as a lot of cancers when it comes to the anal part, the bleeding, and the pain. I was able to sit the entire time. A lot of people couldn’t sit and be like, “I didn’t have to get a donut.” I bought all the things that I was told to do. I never had to use those. I believe that it was because of how I addressed things and how I voiced it. I felt in my heart and mind, “I’m not going to need to use that.” Even though I had that and look at it, I’m like, “I’m not going to use that.” I never did. I never needed it. It’s the power of the mind. Our minds are powerful. Don’t give the power to the illness.

What would be your advice for someone who gets Parkinson’s? How should they phrase it? They’re calling their friend. Are they saying, “I have Parkinson’s?” Is there something else that they’re saying with that to send a more positive message to not only their support system but to their body?

I would voice it in this way. I’d say, “I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, but I’m going to walk through this and have my power over Parkinson’s. I’m going to be stronger. I don’t know the process that this is going to take, but I trust that if I use everything that I have, everything is going to be okay.” If you address that, everybody was like, “I’m on this same vibration with you. He was diagnosed, but everything is going to be okay.” Do you see the difference? It’s not like, “She has cancer. How is she going to do it?” They get off the phone. You already told them how you’re going to do it.

That’s great advice, Debra. I want to know that during your final PET scan, you felt your right arm and your left arm with both touched. Tell us about that. Who were those? We don’t have your gift to know who the spirits were, but this is such a beautiful story because even if you don’t have the gifts, it points to how our loved ones are around us.

PET scans can be scary. A lot of people have anxiety going to a PET scan, even open PET scans. They have that fear of taking Ambien. They can’t do it for some reason. I asked the tech to put the white blanket on me. I always had a white blanket, no matter what treatment I was having. I felt that it was God’s light and love holding me in that blanket. When I put my arms up like this, he put them up over my arms. I had two blankets that day. When I went into the PET scan, there was that unknown. Did everything heal? Did God heal me? Did the treatments heal me? We’re going to find out the results.

What do I want to go into with the attitude? The first attitude was, “This is God’s proof. We’re going in.” That was like, “Let’s go, God.” I remember the room being dark. They closed the lights. I remember closing my eyes. I felt the room get bright like he turned on the light. I opened my eyes to see if he had come back into the room. No, that was God’s light in the room. I was like, “What is happening here?” I kept saying, “Thank you.”

As my hands were up like this, I felt somebody touch me. I was like, “Who are you?” I immediately started to cry. As my father stands on my right, and that’s where our fathers do stand on our right, and our mothers stand on our left, they said, “We’ve always been here for you. We’ve walked through the journey with you. You did it.” I bawled and cried.

Did they give you a tissue in the middle of that?

No, because I don’t know what I’m going through. All of a sudden, I’m like, “This is the best gift ever.” You don’t know what you’re going through, but I feel this is the best gift ever. They’re almost validating and the spirit has been with me the entire time. Think of this as I’m coming out. He is like, “Debra, you’re done.” My hands are up like this. I’m coming through the machine. I decide, “This is hooray.” I’m going, “Victory.” In my mind, as I’m coming through, I’m going, “We’re done.”

You hadn’t even gotten the validation yet. He told you what you already knew. In a way, your parents came through that where they were letting him know you’re okay.

On the day of the call, I missed the call. I had to go to the bathroom. I come back and I’m like, “The doctor called. He left me a message. I’m by myself. I have to listen to this.” I remember taking a deep breath. You are almost holding your breath the whole time you’re listening to it and hearing, “Debra, everything came back clear. You’re cancer-free.” I literally was dancing and jumping in my house.

Do you know what else I loved? At the beginning of this whole journey, you called cancer the beast. Now, you have found beauty in your beast. How was cancer an opportunity disguised for you?

In the beginning, it was my beast because it was like, “Why are you here? You’re destroying my body. You’re the beast.” In the end, I learned so much from cancer, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, that he became my beauty in the beast. I was able to say goodbye to it. I learned lessons. One of the lessons that go way back to the very beginning, the first question you asked me is, why was cancer here? As a healer, why was I getting cancer?

I didn’t understand that. That was one of my biggest questions. I heal people. I have a lot of compassion. I didn’t know what compassion was for somebody with cancer until I walked the walk. When I’m helping anyone with cancer, they’re like, “Debra, you understand. You have the awareness.” I was given the gift of awareness to help, understand, be in the same room, and hold their hands rather than seeing it through the window and trying to explain and guide someone. I speak the same language. That was a true gift because it heightened my healing abilities when helping people through illnesses like cancer.

I love how you put that. Instead of looking through the window, it brought you into the room. You understood it perfectly. It enhances your healing abilities, compassion, and empathy. People can turn to you like what you said about a doctor, knowing that you truly understand.

I understand. I know their pain and fears, but not all of them. We all have our own intensity of it. I can use the tools I learned to embrace them. When I’m healing them, it’s almost like you feel it like I had it before. You want it even more for that person because you know what they’re struggling for and with.

This is something you did that I personally was touched by this because you live a life of gratitude. With what you went through, you went to gratitude for all the people who were special in your army. You gave each one a special gift. You called it because they helped you keep your light shining when everything looked so grim. It’s generous and filled with gratitude. I’m sure not one of them expected anything from you. You acknowledged every one of them. What was that special gift that you gave? I thought this was beautiful. I wanted to share it with our audience.

Cultivate a life of gratitude so during difficult times. That is what is going to be with you. Click To Tweet

I put it in a little bag. I can remember going to my radiation doctor. I had asked them, “I want to write a book because I was told to write a book. Is this okay?” He’s like, “Yes.” I said, “I wouldn’t have been able to get through this without you. You were part of my light.” He opened the gift, and it was a little flashlight.

Anytime you’re in the dark and you turn on that flashlight, know that light is always there for you. It was a little reminder that he is that light no matter how big or little he made a difference. They were powerful little ones, but it was to show the gratitude that their light helped me. I want them to remember never to forget the light that you have within you because it does make a difference when you shine it on another person.

Never to forget the light that you have within you because it really does make a difference when you shine it on another person. Click To Tweet

Would you say that’s how your journey with cancer brought you a great appreciation that it had to do with shining the light within you? I know you gathered a greater appreciation for your body being healing for life.

When you are going through cancer, depression, anxiety, or anything emotionally, physically, or spiritually, your candles and light start to get dim. We need to raise that light, turn the volume up, and bring that up. How do you bring that up? How do you raise that vibration? The way I raise my vibration is joy. How do you find joy? The question is, where do you find joy? Each of us knows what brings us joy within. Ask yourself that question. What brings me joy? Do it. Is it watching the birds? Is it turning on the music? Is it talking to a friend? It doesn’t have to be something big.

I remember when I couldn’t do laundry, the first time I got to do laundry, it brought me joy. I’m like, “I get to do laundry.” I remember I couldn’t walk in a grocery store and do grocery shopping. I’m like, “I’ll never say I don’t like grocery shopping anymore.” The first time I got to go to two stores, I was proud of myself. You drove it to the first, and you still have the energy to go to the second one. I was like, “That brought me so much joy.” I have to remind myself that because, at times, I was like, “I got to go to the grocery store. Remember it, Debra, when you couldn’t go to the grocery store?”

Be grateful that you can see that you can walk in and there’s food to choose from all of that. What it does is as conscious as you were, you’re even more conscious now. This is my take on it. It enhances your appreciation, acceptance, and gratitude. You have a different lens that you’re using to see things or to feel things.

What it did for me is you don’t sweat the small stuff. Find that you do that. Things don’t matter anymore. There could be drama going on, and I don’t get caught up in that drama. If somebody wants to talk about another person, I turn in the other way. That’s not who I am. That’s not what I want. It’s like you can see it more and go, “No.” My circle around me is small. I like to keep it that way because it keeps the peace sometimes. I feel like it’s important to recognize that, but this has taught me to see it even more. Don’t sweat the small stuff. We say that all the time, but people don’t realize that they’re doing it all the time.

It has to do with choice, Debra. I think you’d agree with this. Choose healing, choose your attitude, and choose to be grateful. Don’t choose the toxic negative parts. When you choose the positive things, your body and psyche hear it.

I like that you brought this up because there are a couple of things that have happened to me in the past. When somebody is sick, they get depressed. You have to have those feelings of getting depressed. That’s your choice. Are you going to stay depressed? What are you going to do for yourself to honor you and everyone else that’s around you?

The next thing is I see many people that are angry. They can’t be kind in the grocery store. I’d be like, “You don’t know what I’m going through. Somebody in my family has cancer. Somebody died.” I’m like, “Yeah, but you don’t know what I’m going through. I choose to still have kindness.” What do you want to radiate? If I’m radiating that love and kindness, that’s going to come to me. If I radiate negativity, I’m going to surround myself with negativity. Make a choice of what works best for you. I choose the light, the love, and the kindness.

I like to tell people I become allergic to drama. I’m not interested. What you came to happened to me in the car accident. I lived and saw so much. I’m grateful for every single thing that’s come into my life. It’s a choice.

It’s a choice of how you see things. Even my sister had said to me, she’s like, “You never complained. It didn’t look like cancer was hard.” This is a big lesson for people because it comes from my heart. People will look at cancer and say, “What kind of cancer did you have?” That wasn’t that bad. It’s not compared to this type of cancer or what I’m going through. Cancer is cancer. It’s still the C word. They still have to go through it. They still have to mentally, physically, and spiritually, no matter what it is, do not say to them that it was not that difficult. That was hard for me because people saw that I did walk through it with grace. I didn’t complain so it didn’t look hard.

You kept it for your little army, including the other side, as you moved through it.

I voiced it to God but I didn’t always voice it to my family because I wanted to stay in the joy. I was like, “Let’s play a game while we’re here. Let’s watch a movie together. Let’s watch something joyful.” They have expressed, “Your cancer wasn’t that bad.” I think back, “Should I have been angry? Should I have walked through with fear?” I still go back to no because it wouldn’t have served me.

The lesson I want to tell everybody else is don’t compare or don’t put somebody else down because you don’t know what they’re going through. If they’re shining bright, cancer is one thing you don’t see. It’s not like a broken leg or somebody that has a hip replacement, or you see it on them, scars or bruises. You’re not seeing what they’re feeling or going through. Always embrace them with kindness because you don’t know. It’s not up to them to tell you. All it is up to you is to embrace and come with kindness and love.

It’s another lesson that you’re teaching with this interview because it’s important for people not to make assumptions about other people, how people see them, or what’s going on. We don’t know. It’s a choice to be loving and kind to people. If they’re toxic, you can detach, but you don’t have to get caught up in it.

The other part of me that I do not like and accept is judgment. People judge quickly, but they don’t know what that person has gone through to make them angry, where they are, and what life they had. They’re so quick to judge. I’ve taught my children, especially my younger daughter. When you see somebody acting out, don’t look at them like, “They’re crazy.” Look at them and say, “What are they going through?” What they’re going through is showing you. That’s coming out of them. It’s showing if they’re going through a difficult process. Be kind. Don’t judge because you don’t know.

It segues into this quote from your book that I want to read to everyone because it’s such a wise quote. It’s from Doctors, Faith & Courage. It’s like, “You’ll know when and if it’s your time. At that time, embrace the love that surrounds you and know you are going to a place that is all about love. Cultivate a life of gratitude. During those difficult times, that is what is going to be with you. Never lose hope. Live life to the fullest.”

 

Grief and Rebirth: Finding the Joy in Life Podcast | Debra Martin | Cancer

 

Debra, I want to thank you from my heart for another profoundly meaningful interview. I have no doubt that it is going to touch and inspire many hearts of our audience. Here’s a loving reminder, everyone. Make sure to follow us and like us on social @IreneSWeinberg on Instagram, Facebook, and wherever you get your show, including YouTube, and as I like to say, to be continued. Thank you, Debra.

Never lose hope. Live life to the fullest. Click To Tweet

Thank you. You allowed me to share and have a voice in something that’s dear to my heart and what God showed me to share with the world. That’s why I got cancer. I can’t thank you enough. I love being on your show. You are one of the best interviewers. You come from compassion. You’re someone that people relate to you. You are prepared. You ask me all the right questions. We are in sync. It makes such a beautiful interview. I’m in awe of the work that you do, and I’m honored to be here. Thank you.

I would say from my heart to yours and from yours to mine. Thank you. Everyone, many blessings. Bye for now, and see you all soon.

 

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